Debatable - 21

Debatable is written by the Otago University Debating Society, which meets for social debating every Tuesday at 7pm in the Commerce Building. This week’s motion is “That Pokémon are better than pets”. John argues the affirmative, while Sue argues the negative.

Affirmative
I never used to run home from school to see my dog. No, it was to see Pikachu thunderbolt team rocket for the gazillionth time. Pokémon made/makes so many people happy and encourages good moral standards and compassion in the younger generation, such as when we watch Pokémon do battle on television. It could only be better if Pokémon were real and we got to choose which one we wanted to start our Poke Adventure within the real world.
 
In comparison to normal pets (cats/dogs and whatnot), Pokémon are clearly superior. Why? Several reasons (well, three). Firstly, the coolness factor; an Arcaine is a superstar, it creates fire storms and will protect you to the death, a dog will only do one of those. Cats are evil, but even their evilness cannot amount to the slick talking Meowth. Turning to goldfish, this is a no brainer; a goldfish does nothing and is about as useless as a can without a can-opener. At least a Magicarp turns into a raging dragon type! When looking for a pet to love and care for, coolness needs to be looked at. Normal pets are just a bit lame. Indeed, they are probably just a little cooler than Digimon, and that’s pretty lame. When I look for a pet I want one who, when it’s cold, can light a fire or who, when I want to annoy someone, can thunderbolt them in a super-effective way. Only a Pokémon could be so cool.
 
Secondly, intelligence: for anyone who has seen the Pokémon series, it becomes quite clear that Pokémon are devilishly intelligent. They not only understand what you say, but they respond in turn. Their only barrier is speech (unless you happen to have a Meowth or Mewtwo). Pokémon actively communicate not only with their own species but with all Pokémon AND with their trainers – pretty cool. Another thing a usual pet cannot do. 
 
Thirdly: money making. In the world that we live in, we have specific laws in place to protect animals from violence, ergo banning dog fighting. In the case of Pokémon, this does not apply. They naturally battle each other, it’s the way that they grow and prosper. The trainers of these Pokémon have great money-making methods in front of them, they need to care for their Pokémon and in turn the Pokémon battles (as it wants to) and both the Pokémon and the trainer benefit. This will also have the added benefit of stopping animal fights as Pokémon fights would be where all the cool kids go.

There we go, several clear reasons why Pokémon are better than normal pets.
- John

 
Negative

Why Pets are Better Than Pokémon

When casting one’s mind to the relatives merits, virtue or value of two classes, categories or concepts, what must principally take primary place within the personal perusal and promulgation of the present problem is the reality, actuality, state of being and existence of each category.
 
While Pokémon’s Pikachu perches prominently in the proud pictures of children’s TV sets, pleasant, personable and purring pets have the advantage of being real. They exist outside of the regal realm of imagination. You can ride a parrot, play “fetch” with a horse and teach your dog to mimic a few witty phrases, but Pokémon lie beyond interaction. In actual fact, they just lie. They are not real.
 
What’s more, they have bad values. Never do you see a Pokémon perambulating along to OUDS to partake in some intelligent debate. Lacking in ostentatious displays of voracious verbose vocalisation, they instead choose to settle their disagreements with vicious violence. When our children are being exposed to animated animals who choose violence as a first resort in the settling of even trivial disputes, we surely inculcate a negative and careless attitude in the minds of the youth.
 
Bringing this debate to what must be the primary stakeholders in any discussion of national importance, let’s look at the excesses to which pets surpass Pokémon in relation to the students of Otago. Pokémon have no place in scarfie life. They can’t guzzle beer, pass a rugby ball, sit exams, gaze with envy at the gates of Selwyn, or vote for Logan Edgar. Pets, on the other hand (or paw), have great value. A dog can clean food scraps off the floor, a cat can eliminate your mouse problem, a parrot can be a great aid for revision, and pigs have been proven to feel right at home on Castle Street.
 
To end with further agonizing alliteration, all analysis and accurate assessment about the actual value of pets versus Pokémon must purely, plainly and powerfully fall in fair favour of pets. Pets exist, and as such they can give real value. They do not engage in reckless violence, and can provide great value to the lives of the average Dunedin student. Pets are plainly preferable to Pokémon. I rest my case.
 
- Sue

Posted 10:37pm Monday 22nd August 2011 by John and Sue.