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“Gee, she’s just begging to be raped …”

 
 
In New Zealand, one in three girls and one in six boys experience sexual abuse. Currently, one in four women experience rape or attempted rape in their lifetime. New Zealand has some of the highest rates of sexual abuse in the world.
The fact is, rape and sexual abuse exist at alarming rates in New Zealand due to our rape culture. ‘Rape culture’ is a culture in which rape and sexual abuse are common, and prevalent attitudes, norms, and media condone, normalise, excuse, or encourage sexual violence. At the core of rape culture is the rape myth. 
 The ‘rape myth’ outlines who is raped, where, how, and why. Within the rape myth, survivors of sexual assault are blamed for their experiences because of what they wore, how they behaved, how much they drank, who they chose to walk home with, or that they chose to walk home alone. This is called ‘victim blaming’ and is a core theme of the rape myth.
Approximately half of all survivors of sexual abuse experienced their abuse as children. Children aren’t ‘sexy’; children are not provocative; and children never ask for sexual abuse. The same goes for survivors of sexual abuse as adults. All women are entitled to sexual autonomy; to say ‘no’, either verbally or physically; and to be respected. We all have the right to decide what we do sexually, with whom, when, and for how long, no matter what we wear, how we act, or where we are.
Rape myth also sells us an image of the sexually abusive male. He is old, he is creepy, he is lurking in a public but isolated location. Furthermore, perpetrators of child sexual abuse are often painted in a certain light – they are sick paedophiles and/or they are only re-enacting the abuse they experienced as a child. 
25 percent of perpetrators have experienced sexual abuse. Three quarters of offenders are under the age of 50. The vast majority of sexual abuse happens within the home, as the abuser is often already in some sort of trusting relationship with the survivor (partner/ex-partner/friend/acquaintance). Often, perpetrators of sexual abuse are popular, good looking, and successful.
One of the most damaging myths is that rape and sexual abuse are the result of unruly, testosterone-fuelled sexual desire. Not only does this refer to sexual assaults as a loss of control (which couldn’t be further from the truth), but it also suggests that sexually abusive behaviours are the result of an inability to constrain biological male urges; that to want to pursue sex past the point of a partner’s resistance is ‘normal’ male behaviour. 
Rape and sexual abuse are a form of domination, power, and control. Rape and sexual abuse are not normal male behaviour. Although the vast majority of those who perpetrate sexual abuse are men, (up to 98 percent), most men do not sexually abuse. To sell boys and men a rape myth image of masculinity minimises their opportunity to negotiate other ways of expressing their sexuality.
This week is Rape Awareness Week. Rape and sexual abuse do not exist in a vacuum; they exist in a culture. Our culture. Challenge rape myth this Rape Awareness Week.
 
Rape Crisis Dunedin supports survivors of rape and sexual abuse experienced as adults and in childhood. Call (03) 474 1592 for free and confidential support. No matter what happened, or how long ago, it is never too late to talk to us.