Moaningful_Confessions.txt | Robot rendezvous

Posted 5:29pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Critic

I had the most amazing rendezvous last night. I was out at the bar with a few friends when I spotted him across the room. He was tall, dark, and handsome, and I couldn't help but stare. I could tell he was interested too, because he kept making eye contact with me. After a couple of drinks, I Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | TRUE STORY! Nice Guy Gentleman Gets Laid! *NOT CRINGE AT ALL!*

Posted 3:18pm Monday 15th August 2022 by Critic

Once upon a summer's day, a beautiful princess was finishing her last exam. Her (not really) prince charming was waiting outside the exam room with a cup of tea, a packed lunch and his noble steed (Toyota people-mover with amazing fuel economy). It had been a couple of lonely days with the exam Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Mommy Milk

Posted 8:07pm Friday 5th August 2022 by Critic

So, pretty soon after I had broken up with my boyfriend, I decided to have a little hoe phase and met up with this guy. He was quite strange but he picked me up and we ended up going to a hotel (I have never felt more like a hooker in my life). For some reason he put on the Minion Movie and we Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Togal Catastrophe

Posted 8:08pm Friday 5th August 2022 by Critic

It was my first year at Otago Uni. I was freshly 18, still a virgin and O-week was coming up. I decided to go to toga with a couple of people I’d met that day. After more than a couple drinks, some shitty dancing and moving our way up in the crowd, I looked around only to realise I recognised Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Indecent Exposure

Posted 4:53pm Sunday 31st July 2022 by Critic

It’s a Saturday in Dunedin. But this isn’t a story of a Saturday night where you go to a flat and get super wasted while eyeing up the person you want to end up fucking later. No, this story is different. It was the middle of the day – 12:34pm to be precise. I was working my shitty Read more...

Sex on the Spectrum

Posted 6:07pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Lotto Ramsay

“The first time me and Shayna were having sex, at one point they kinda looked up and said ‘Do you like porridge?’” Simply looking up the keywords “autism” and “sex” returns questions like “Can you consent to sex if you have autism?” and Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Mr. Squirt, Mr. Peanut Butter

Posted 6:36pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Critic

It was your average Saturday night on Re-O week, I'd finished up at Castle and figured it was time to pull. I had just seen the guy that ghosted me pull another bird and I needed to crack on. With perfect timing, I got a Snapchat from a Tinder guy who I had been talking with a little. I thought, Read more...

Between a Cock and a Hard Place

Posted 6:17pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Kaia Kahurangi Jamieson

When you think ‘sexual dysfunction’, you probably imagine emergency room flyers for Viagra. The words ‘low sex drive’ might conjure up a dead-end marriage, two snotty children and a fold-out couch in the garage for dad. What you probably aren’t thinking of is your peers Read more...

Opinion: I’m Glad You Came

Posted 6:24pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Picture this: it’s late at night, and you’re tucked up in bed with your special someone. Maybe you’ve met up with your sneaky link to do the dirty deed, or you’ve pulled at a party. Maybe you’re one of those people who’s in a relationship, and have just come back Read more...

Editorial: How much data is in one ejaculation?

Posted 2:40pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Fox Meyer

One sperm contains about 3.3 billion base pairs, stored in DNA. Each base pair is two bits of data, for a total of 787MB of data per sperm. With somewhere around 280 million sperm per ejaculation, that means a single load contains about 220,000 terabytes of data. That’s a lot of information to Read more...