Critical Tribune: Many upset after Critic says, “Well, you’re not invited to my birthday party”

Posted 9:54pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Billary Harry

Within the past months many readers, staff, University affiliates, and OUSA, have been excited about Critic turning 100 years old, as well as the party that would come along with it.  Editor Nina had been overheard saying there would be “super cute party games” like pass the Read more...

Third-year Wellness Influencer Insists Her Bag is Ethically Sourced

Posted 9:19pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Anderson Coomer

Local third-year Food Science and Nutrition Student student Molly Edwards, a self-proclaimed fitness and wellness influencer, who preaches the benefits of clean-eating, early morning runs and therapeutic properties of Saunas on her Instagram account (@MolsHolistic) put a pause on her ‘daily Read more...

Breatha Exiled from Castle St Flat After Admitting, “I don’t fuck with DnB that much bro.”

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Anderson Coomer

Alex, a second-year student, formerly known by his peers as ‘Fridge’ has been reduced to being known as ‘Champ’ in a turn of events that resulted in his tenancy being informally terminated at his Castle St flat. This follows a shocking admission, whereby Alex firmly stood Read more...

Vaping Students Used in Lieu of Smoke Machine for Ori’

Posted 4:24pm Sunday 2nd March 2025 by Tina Frowns

In lieu of an available smoke machine for Ori’ 2025, OUSA roped in a group of 100 or so students to continually blow vape clouds from either side of the Union Lawn stage. Volunteers (who the Critical Tribune has been assured were fully consenting) were recruited at OUSA’s annual Tent Read more...

Parking Wardens Suspected as Cause for Pedestrianisation

Posted 1:22pm Sunday 10th April 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Sources close to the Mayor claim that the attempt to make George Street pedestrianised occurred after a run-in with DCC parking wardens. Mayor Hawkins’s close confidants reported that the recent attempts to remove cars from George Street is an attempt to put parking wardens out of a job. Read more...

Discussion-Dominating Student Dismisses Claims of Disruption

Posted 5:36pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Critic Te Arohi had a chat with Danny, a third year student who, according to the Geography department, takes up 60% of discussion time in tutorials.  “I mean, I don’t really do the readings but I just kinda catch the vibe,” he told Critic through hoons that he blew in our Read more...

Shopping trolley stocks plummet as students hit north D

Posted 3:08pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by The Critical Tribune

Supermarkets across the city are reporting shortages of shopping trolleys, as students move into town and claim the sterling vessels as their own. “It’s madness”, said one New World employee. “Yesterday, I saw a woman back her RAV-4 all the way up to the building’s door Read more...

Emergency Summit Fails To Avert Fresher-Second Year War

Posted 3:09pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by The Critical Tribune

A fragile peace between first- and second-years has collapsed amidst accusations of aggression on both sides. Relations between the two groups frayed after mass movements of freshers were detected around the traditionally second-year strongholds of Castle Street and Forth Street. Concerns about Read more...

Fresher Finally Meets Someone From Mosgiel

Posted 4:43pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by The Critical Tribune

Mosgiel is a place that many people have only heard about, but UniCol fresher Aimee Fredericks was lucky enough to meet someone hailing from just west of Dunedin at a party in Re-O. “I’d only ever heard about the Mosgiel sign on the news!” she said. “The first time I drove Read more...

Flatmate Hasn’t Cleaned Mooncup in Two Years

Posted 1:00am Monday 24th May 2021 by The Critical Tribune

“Bro she just keeps leaving it on the pile of dishes like she expects us to wash it,” said one disgruntled breatha. “Like, what does she think we are, a cleaning service?”  The bleeder’s menstrual cup is a purple, latex design that she describes as Read more...