Posted 8:41pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

If the KGB are vodka and lemon, the CIA must be a shot of fireball delivered via lead into the back of your brain.    KGBs are at the forefront of RTD supremacy. They are neck and neck with Billy Mav’s, each vying for the title of “favourite alcoholic beverage of the Read more...

BOOZE: Vodka

Posted 11:00pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Vodka benefits from great PR and is likely the most renowned spirit in the world, despite it being pretty boring.   If you’re spending more than $60 on a bottle of vodka, you are a fool. That shit all tastes the same. “Wow, you can really taste that fourth filtration. It Read more...

BOOZE: Wild Moose

Posted 3:40pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Wild Moose is the greatest New Zealand/Canada collaboration since Gallipoli.    Much like the mythical beast of Fiordland for which it’s named, our country is resigned to its existence and must drink in its honour. That moose is never going to turn up. You’d have an Read more...

BOOZE: Jägermeister

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Some German guy - Meister Jäger, I assume - read 'George’s Marvellous Medicine' and thought, “Ya I can do zat,” and then all the other Germans were like, “I know it is only 1934, but this is ze best idea we have had in a while,” and so forth came Read more...

Booze review: MAJOR MAJOR

Posted 1:38pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

DUDE, before MAJOR MAJOR came into my life, I would have never had the confidence to drill a hole into the Vice Chancellor’s office and fill it with bees, but now with MAJOR MAJOR I’m living my true university experience! Let’s all go break bottles on the try-line of Victoria Read more...

Booze review: RUM(S)

Posted 10:00pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Rum is the blindfold that humanity gladly adorns when things get messy.  A tipple of rum to the war-torn soldier leavens the load of indefinite suffering, and the base aromat of orange and vanilla is as familiar to fruit the sailor will get. The legacy of rum is often a swansong to the Read more...

Booze Review: Your Uncle's Homebrew

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

New Zealand’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol is built on the solid foundations of your uncle’s homebrew.    Whether the uncle in question is yours or a mate’s, the product is the same. You’ve likely had a shot of their 80% alc/vol moonshine which was Read more...

Booze Review: Fizzliss Old Fashioned Lemonade + Vodka

Posted 5:18pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Built into the human genome is a predisposition toward enjoying bubbles. All things bubbly. Bubbles in my bath, bubbles that meander through the air, Bubbles shooting up heroin in the streets of West Baltimore. A momentary existence punctuated with a satisfying *pop*; there is no situation that does Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Death

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

All the appeal of cough syrup, without the fun effects. Purple Death is like a Fast & Furious marathon: you’re excited to revel in something objectively terrible with your friends, and it is fun initially, but after three hours of staring at Vin Diesel's fat head you begin to wonder Read more...

Booze Review: Ginger Bear

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

With a name like Ginger Bear, it would be too easy to make a joke about being fucked in my ass by a 300+ pound, ginger-haired, Todd-from-Breaking-Bad-looking guy. So I won’t. Crimson Badger Brewing’s Ginger Bear is the perfect reintroduction to a medium of drinks that have otherwise Read more...

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