Archive

Booze Reviews: White Russian

Posted 8:37am Tuesday 23rd April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

There’s something to be said about milk-based cocktails. They’re sweet, creamy, and have you teetering on the edge of shitting your pants. Having recently watched The Big Lebowski, naturally White Russians were the only way to approach this inconsistent but virtuous thrill of Read more...

Students “So Fucking Excited” for Dunedin Mecca

Posted 8:30pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Gryffin Powell

Hold your Frank Green drink bottle tight because cosmetics giant Mecca is opening a store in Dunedin later this year. The chain confirmed the rumours to the Otago Daily Times after job positions were posted online. The store is set to open at an unspecified location on George Street – likely Read more...

Bot Takeover Prompts Private Castle24

Posted 8:14pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Gryffin Powell

The Castle24 Facebook group has been invaded – not by freshers, but by hundreds of bot accounts claiming to sell tickets to the Hyde St Party. What started as a trickle of scammers has turned into a shit storm of hundreds of bots in the lead-up to Hyde, leaving students confused about who to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Bathroom Olympics

Posted 8:08pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Critic

This is how I won a $3 plastic trophy for winning a sex competition. Last year a mate and I wanted to attend an event: party buses, bar crawl and silly dress up – ideal. It was a five hour drive away, but we figured that if we found men at the event to shack up with the accommodation was free Read more...

Dusty Laps for Life

Posted 8:05pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Nina Brown

Suicide prevention trust ‘Life Matters’ hosted Laps for Life at North Grounds on Sunday, April 14. Fuelled by the sausage sizzle, the crowd of 200 yellow-dressed attendees cumulatively ran 1,954 km (over the length of Aotearoa) eclipsing the original goal of 365 km before lunchtime. Read more...

Te Araroa: An Unexpected Journey

Posted 8:02pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Te Araroa, though not officially one of Aotearoa’s 10 Great Walks, is arguably the greatest of them all. Translating to ‘The Long Pathway’, the trail spans 3000 km and traverses the entire length of the country, taking walkers through beaches, forests, country, and Read more...

Debatable: Should climate change be an individual responsibility?

Posted 7:56pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Julia Randerson

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For Let’s face it: the UN’s climate conferences are infamously ineffective, corporations tend to dislike any Read more...

As Good as Mould

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Jodie Evans

From flocks of seagulls to herds of freshers, beautiful North Dunedin boasts a variety of unique flora and fauna – the most abundant and furtive of which can be found in your very own flat. You guessed it: mould. Your white-toothed suit-wearing landlord only wants you to live amidst the most Read more...

Local Produce: Ann Arkii

Posted 5:25pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Ann Arkii is the Monarch of the Ōtepoti drag scene. Having performed drag for over a year, Ann is often credited with revitalising the drag scene in Dunedin through the Ōtepoti Drag Directory, which helps feature and encourage emerging drag artists. Critic Te Ārohi sat down with Ann Read more...

Daddy Grant’s Home!

Posted 5:22pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Grant Robertson was spotted on campus recently, spending a week acquainting himself with the University and the people within. A select few were lucky enough to meet the soon-to-be-VC for a lunch date, telling Critic Te Ārohi they felt privileged to be fit into a schedule that was allegedly Read more...

71.6% Increase in Region’s MDMA Consumption During Flo-Week

Posted 5:19pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Hanna Varrs

Wastewater testing has revealed a 71.6% increase in MDMA consumption during Flo-Week, meaning the cops know you got geary. Cocaine consumption also had a marginal rise (in this economy?) but it was 35 times less prevalent than MDMA.  The information has come to light after Critic Te Read more...

Breaking Sound’s Policies Still Under Fire

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Breaking Sound’s policies continue to be questioned by local musos. It’s been revealed to Critic Te Ārohi that multiple Dunedin bands, including IVY and The Beatniks, have had issues of underpayment with the company owing to their odd policies. Discussions centred around their Read more...

Crossword Trauma Leads to Plea for Hyde Tickets

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The Hyde hustle has been strong this year, with some twisting the “trauma” of repeated Critic crossword errors (soz) into a bid for tickets. A flat of four sent an email last Monday after spotting the latest typo to Critic Editor Nina and OUSA President Keegan, claiming it had Read more...

Castle Street Clean-up Turnout Disappoints

Posted 5:09pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The fifth annual Sophie Crestani Castle Street Clean-up took place last Friday, attracting a disappointingly small turnout. Few members of the Castle St fraternity showed up, with the majority of initial attendees being either Caroline Freeman College residents or Hold On To Your Friends (HOTYF) Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 8

Posted 5:05pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquarius, you have been busy, and it’s showing. The dark circles and chapped lips aren't cute. Sometimes taking a night off the booze is a good idea so you won't look 20 going on 35. Your turn on: Netflix adaptation of Wattpad porn Pisces A bad week is in the cards for Read more...

Introducing Your Clubs & Socs Rep

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Emma Jackson

Hello lovely people! My name is Emma Jackson and I am your Clubs and Socs Rep for 2024 <3 A few things about me is that I was born in Saudi Arabia, living there for 10 years before moving back to Aotearoa and setting up camp in Christchurch. I play competitive tennis, love tramping and Read more...

Editorial: Touch Some Grass

Posted 4:55pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re all saying it: winter is coming, and with it the winter blues. Soon enough it’ll have all of us in its clutches once more as we wallow in the sunless pit of North Dunedin. There are all kinds of things that are recommended to help you cope. My advice? Just touch some Read more...

Scenic Sadness: A Critic Te Ārohi Quest

Posted 4:52pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Gryffin Powell

As temperatures plummet, the primal North D urge to “get the fuck away from it all” stirs. Nothing awakens the adventurous spirit quite like a mouldy flat or a situationship ending. Two dudes armed with a Mazda (that they weren’t insured to drive) embarked on an expedition to find Read more...

Botan Bongs

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

To many, the Botanical Gardens are a short-cut to New World Gardens or a nice place to picnic. To members of the species Stoneri botanis (The Botan Stoner), however, the Gardens are their natural habitat. The Botan Stoner is an abundant species native to the ecosystem of Ōtepoti. This species Read more...

Letter from KnowYourStuffNZ: What is Harm Reduction?

Posted 2:20pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Max Phillips

My name is Max Phillips, and I am a drug user. “User” is a bit of a loaded word, but it shouldn’t be, since everyone reading this is also a drug user. Over 80% of New Zealanders drink alcohol (one of the most harmful drugs), and we can tend to forget that things like panadol are Read more...

Unicol Fresher Wins Big from Online Gambling (Twice)

Posted 2:17pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Iris Hehir

A Unicol fresher has won big money from online gambling. Known around campus as Elvis*, he won $27k in total; taking his gambling virginity in a weekend that can only be described as one for the books. Elvis tells Critic that it all began the summer before Uni, when he was drinking with some Read more...

South D Warehouse Starts to Sell Frozen Meals

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Gryffin Powell

There’s a new player in the budget culinary scene in Dunedin: South D Warehouse. The store is the second Warehouse location in Aotearoa to start selling frozen meals after they successfully popped off in Manukau.  The meals are “family-sized” (or a single serve for a drunk Read more...

Te Rōpū Māori Names Te Kaihāpai and Tumuaki Takirua at Bi-Election

Posted 2:12pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Te Rōpū Māori held their SGM/bi-election last Wednesday, April 10 – the third and final time you’ll be seeing that date in the news section this week, promise. The election was called to fill the positions of Tumuaki Takirua (Co-President) and Te Kaihāpai Read more...

Local Produce: HŌHĀ

Posted 2:09pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Jordan Irvine

HŌHĀ is an Ōtepoti noise duo composed of drummer Madison Kelly (they/them) and guitarist Liam Clune (he/him). The band formed in early 2021, with the two friends coming together for jam sessions before eventually becoming a band playing gigs, most recently at Camp A Low Read more...

The Great Critic Drug Review

Posted 2:08pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Boba Ket

Disclaimer: The content provided in this article is not intended to encourage the use of illegal drugs or substance abuse. The information is based on personal experiences and subjective observations that are not applicable to everyone, and should not be used as a substitute for professional Read more...

Debatable: Should we decriminalise all drugs?

Posted 1:56pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Julia Randerson

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For  It’s high time to hash out some legislation that treats drug use as a health issue, not a criminal one. The Read more...

Booze Reviews: Long White Hazy Lemonade

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

RTD’s have now fallen victim to the shameless marketing trend that’s conned every corduroy-wearing millennial in Wellington into drinking the most experimental hazy IPA. Trying to prove your superiority of taste and class doesn’t cover up the fact you get shamelessly pissed every Read more...

White Claw’s Coming to Town

Posted 1:46pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nina Brown

Don your frat boy caps, White Claw is coming to Aotearoa. In a statement to Newshub, DB Breweries, official partner of the American RTD, confirmed that “the rumours are true” – they’ll be hitting shelves nationwide from April 19. For those not in the know, White Claw is Read more...

TiB Seeks Feedback on Uni Sexual Misconduct Policy

Posted 1:44pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hanna Varrs

TW: Mention of sexual harm. Thursdays in Black kicked off their year with a sexual harm prevention hui last Wednesday in the Union common room. The hui was organised in collaboration with OUSA Student Support, Te Whare Tāwharau, and the Uni’s Sexual Misconduct Action Response Team Read more...

Landlord Leases Queen St Parking for $35 a Week

Posted 1:41pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

A landlord has been leasing out car parks to a Queen St population battling to find a park. Eight to ten car parks have been made available for lease by the landlord after he realised his tenants only “had about three cars.” What’s shocked students is the price, with one student, Read more...

OUSA Exec Hyde Giveaway Increases Insta Following By 500%

Posted 1:39pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The OUSA Exec’s Instagram page has popped the fuck off after announcing a Hyde St Party ticket giveaway. All students had to do to enter was follow their Instagram page. OUSA’s President/Overlord Keegan reported to Critic Te Ārohi that, at the time of publishing, the giveaway had Read more...

Feedback Section Skipped at Clubs Meeting to Gather Feedback

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Last Wednesday was the first OUSA-affiliated Clubs meeting of the year, held at the Clubs and Socs building. Critic was told, by Clubs and Socs Rep Emma Jackson, it would be “very informal,” as she also told people to get their fill of chips which she had “bought too many” Read more...

Aquinas Room Security Still An Issue

Posted 1:28pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Allegations of break-ins at Aquinas have proven to be true, despite the college stating that “locks are up to date.” Critic Te Ārohi has received evidence of residents accessing specific locked rooms with the use of only a student ID. A series of differing lock mechanisms has meant Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Ex-Best Friend’s Ex-Boyfriend Fucker

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic

Thank god this happened back in my home country, I would be shanked if this got back to them. At my school in year 12, my friend (let’s call her Amelia) got a boyfriend (let’s call him Jed) who had a completely identical (slightly fitter) twin brother. I, being perpetually single Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 7

Posted 1:19pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You’re at a crossroads this week. Either accept that you have tummy issues and swap to oat milk or shit yourself in the most embarrassing place possible: three metres away from the bouncer outside U-Bar.  Strain of weed to try: Sour Diesel Pisces You take a creative Read more...

Hide Ya Bong: 10 Ways to Conceal a Bong in Plain Sight

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Imagine this: halfway through punching a cone after an incredibly difficult week of BCom-broing and midweek pissups, you hear the front door creak. All your flatmates are home, and no one just fucking drops in. Like a deer in Bic-light, you scramble in fear to find a hiding spot for your still-warm Read more...

Editorial: Stay Safe, Kids

Posted 1:08pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nina Brown

Welcome to the Drugs Issue. You may have picked that up already based on the bong-heavy design of both the cover and centrefold. We timed it to come out the week of Hyde Street Party and 4/20 – which conveniently happens to be the same day this year. I see you, OUSA. “Drugs” is Read more...

Drug Trip Simulator

Posted 1:06pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nicky Patterson

1. Look outside. It’s a beautiful day; the sun's shining, the birds are chirping, and you've got the itch for something special to make today one to remember. Who are you calling? A: The Regular (go to 3) B: The shady guy who your mate’s flatmate’s sister knows (go to Read more...

Steamed the New Stoned?

Posted 12:57pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Dunedin has a pretty notorious drug culture. One drop of our wastewater could show the entirety of Gloriavale a damn good time. And yet, one would be pressed to find a hardcore, “substances are a personality trait” type druggie in even your most bruising Castle St flat these days – Read more...

Firecracker Airfryer Edibles

Posted 12:54pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...

The Baaa Karaoke Threatens Thirsty Thursday Supremacy

Posted 11:04am Monday 8th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Word on the street is that The Baaa karaoke has ostensibly filled the Thursday night social calendar gap after reporting “lines out the door” since the start of 2024. Supporting the piss-fuelled antics of over 200 breathas a night, The Baaa’s karaoke has allegedly trumped all other Read more...

Pitfalls of the Pill

Posted 11:03am Monday 8th April 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Ah, the pill. That tiny, circular tab that’s readily handed out to fix a myriad of issues, whether that be mental health, preventing periods, curing acne or, you know, maybe even as a contraceptive. Since its release in the 1960s, the oral contraceptive pill has been treated as a miracle drug, Read more...

Local Produce: Purple Dog

Posted 10:09pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Starting off the year with a slew of Pint Night performances at U-Bar, Purple Dog have now established themselves as a prominent Ōtepoti band. As they gear up to release a second single, Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the band to ask about their origin story, new music, and upcoming Read more...

Debatable: Should Hyde residents have to pay for tickets to the Hyde Street Party?

Posted 10:07pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Liam Gould

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For: Liam Gould  Okay, so it might be a bit stink that on top of overpaying for what is likely a cold and damp flat on Read more...

Leith Them Alone: The Families of Leith Street

Posted 10:01pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Leith Street – a key part of the North Dunedin epicentre of Otago’s student life – has long been the home of scarfie flats and student parties. But despite its reputation, Leith is more than just students living out their second-year dreams in New Zealand’s most notorious Read more...

Booze Review: Mulled Wine

Posted 9:57pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Daylight savings is creeping forward, bringing with it shit weather and a splash of seasonal depression. In this autumnal slump, we want a drink that reminds us of simpler times, like Christmas – not New Zealand Christmas, but the one you see in low-budget rom-coms. I want to get fucked up Read more...

Dancing in the Rain: Baseline Reviewed

Posted 9:54pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Iris Hehir

It’s important to Critic Te Ārohi that our reviews are authentic. To review hall food, we needed to assume the identities of freshers. And to review Baseline, we also had to assume the appropriate state of a festival-goer: dressed a lil’ slutty and with enough vodka Red Bulls in our Read more...

ChatGOTH: Heracles

Posted 9:50pm Friday 5th April 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hi ChatGOTH, I need help slaying the Hydra. My ex will not stop trying to talk to me. As per usual post-break up courtesy, I asked for space but little did I know how challenging this labour would be. Long story short, it got to the point where I had to block her (so my phone would stop Read more...

Takeaways: Week 6

Posted 9:49pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘Almost Pumping’ short film If you haven’t watched it yet, you’re missing out. Isaac Chadwick’s short film ‘Almost Pumping’ is a 16-minute fever dream of surf, as Chaddy and his mates tackle the waves of Indonesia, describing Read more...

Bar Behemoths Combine to Support LGBTQIA+ Community

Posted 9:47pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Woof! have teamed up with Emerson’s Brewery to create a t-shirt encouraging people to “be proud of the rainbow thirst trap that you are!” Not only will the t-shirts be drippy as fuck, but they’re also helping fund an initiative to provides stores with printed materials in Read more...

Non-Student Kicked Out of OUSA Sauna

Posted 9:45pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Hanna Varrs

A non-student has been permanently banned from the OUSA Clubs and Socs building following a sauna incident where the patron caused “discomfort for other users within that session,” according to OUSA’s Clubs and Societies Operations Manager Jamie Leckie.  Leckie told Critic Read more...

Salmond Lashes Out Following Food Review

Posted 9:42pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Critic Te Ārohi has once again come to blows with a hall after a full kitchen staff meeting was organised to address the magazine’s now infamous food review. The meeting allegedly saw Critic staff being called out by name and staff shed tears after reading the review in the company of Read more...

New Queen St. Facebook Group Claims to Have No Freshers

Posted 9:40pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

The smell of a fresh Dunedin street Facebook group is in the air again with the creation of ‘QUEEN/GEORGE 24’. And wow, it's not got the one thing all of Dunedin claims to despise: fucking freshers (or so they reckon). If you're wondering why you need another platform to buy fake Read more...

Opinion: Nitro Goes Woke?

Posted 9:20pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Nicholas McDermott

In the ever-evolving landscape of alcoholic beverages, one name has stood out for its unapologetic embrace of the wild side: Nitro. Known for having partygoers buzzing with energy, Nitro has carved a niche for itself as the go-to drink for those looking to elevate their night from the mundane to the Read more...

University “Highly Likely” to Cut Some Journal Subscriptions

Posted 9:12pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Academic journals have been added to the University’s list of casualties after Critic Te Ārohi was told that it was “highly likely” that resources, including some academic journals, would be cut.  A University spokesperson told Critic Te Ārohi that they could be Read more...

Capping Show Reveals ‘Beezie’ Theme

Posted 9:08pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

The Capping Show is back for the 130th time (never gets old), brandishing a new theme and a bucket load of sure-to-be-explicit skits – we counted “49 assorted sex, dick and tit jokes” last year. Critic Te Ārohi met up with co-Stage Director Jack Archibald to flesh out the Read more...

Aquinas Has a Bra Thief

Posted 8:58pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

News of a bra thief on the loose in Aquinas has students in a panic. Sources say that the thief has been on the loose since the beginning of March.  In the space of a few weeks, several pairs of women’s brassiere and underwear have been reportedly stolen, leading residents to suspect Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Catman

Posted 8:53pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

We’re coming up on the anniversary of this story so I feel as though I have enough closure to share it. This was my first attempt at a Tinder hook up after a breakup, and I knew the guy from home so I thought it would be chill. No surprises, I was wrong.  Everything is set up, Read more...

The Lecture Swap

Posted 8:52pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Adam Stitely, Gryffin Powell, Christopher Elder & Monty O’Rielly

Critic Te Ārohi sent two pairs of what we considered to be polar-opposite majors to go to each others’ lectures: History major Adam and Biochemistry & Genetics major Gryffin; Marketing major Christopher and Gender Studies major Monty. It’s like swinging, but with a bit more Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 6

Posted 8:28pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

Aquarius When life gives you lemons, make a vodka LLB (lemon, lime and bitters), sit back and watch the world burn. There is nothing you can do to save those plebs. Your morning mantra: I am healthy, I am wealthy Pisces You are very aware of your surroundings this week. While your intuition is Read more...

Editorial: Turn On Your Heat Pump

Posted 8:25pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Nina Brown

It’s time we all grew up and turned our heat pumps on. I will die on this hill. To all the power Scrooges out there, I get it. The early stages of flatting are a hard fiscal slap in the face. You hear the phrase “cozzie livs” (boomer translation: “cost of living”) Read more...

Pint Night Glasses Going Extinct

Posted 8:20pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

U-Bar’s pint glasses are in short supply, dropping to a stock of only 500 out of the 3000-4000 that were bought for the bar just a few years ago. Weird, I wonder why? Hospitality Services Manager Adrian Lowrey told Critic Te Ārohi that he is “trying to buy some new ones at the Read more...

Trans Sex For Dummies

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...

Booze Review: Sour Apple Cruisers

Posted 4:35pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Critic was a bit late this St Patty’s to jump on the bandwagon and acquire the breatha’s Irish drink of choice: Lime Cruisers. We even mished to the unfamiliar territory of South Dunedin, but to no avail. We were left with the consolation prize, the ugly step-sister of this green and Read more...

Mi Goreng Graduate: Chocolate Mousse

Posted 4:33pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Ruby Hudson

Serves: 6 Time: 20 mins + 2 hrs cooling Bring on those sexual desires and impress that special someone with this smooth and luxurious choccy mousse. Since dark chocolate is packed full of aphrodisiac, this recipe is sure to get you in the mood. While I admit the whole aphrodisiac thing could be Read more...

Uni Football Rising Out of the Pits

Posted 4:28pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

University football has pulled itself out of a hole after slashing through both men’s and women’s University of Canterbury teams in a pre-season derby. Now the club is talking a big game, with men’s captain Ben Campbell telling Critic Te Ārohi, “Anything short of the top Read more...

Citizens Advice Bureau Launch Youth-Focused Website

Posted 4:25pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Gryffin Powell

Nobody ever seems to be truly prepared for the shit show that is moving out of home, which is why the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) have created a tool to help. Launched with the knowledge that there’s no 100-level paper on bullshitting through life, the Bureau announced the ‘Youth Tool Read more...

“Nut Free” Carrington College Serves Nuts

Posted 4:19pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Angus Rees

Carrington College found themselves in a tricky situation last week, after a resident allergic to peanuts unknowingly consumed a biscuit containing nuts. The student ate said sweet treat with faith in the fact that Carrington kitchen had become nut free. Yikes.  A student associated with Read more...

Best of Moaningful Confessions

Posted 4:15pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

It’s only appropriate that the sex issue pays homage to everyone’s favourite sexscapade column: Moaningful Confessions. The column was born in 2020 out of the ashes of the seedy and often marginal Blind Date column. We’ve ranked the sauciest, most salacious, tit-lickin’, Read more...

Local Produce: Give Up

Posted 4:06pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Give Up is the newest Ōtepoti shit-head post-punk band. They came to prominence last year after making the Bring the Noise finals, which was only their second gig. Now, after opening for Beet-wix and snagging a pint night slot, they’re rolling with the motion of the ocean and are keen to Read more...

Debatable: Should you watch porn?

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Abby Bowmar

TW: SA, mentions of abuse For You have an internet connection, an incognito tab, and 10 minutes (8? 5? 2?) on your hands. Put aside the guilt your Catholic primary school instilled in you, and remember to disconnect from your flat’s Bluetooth speaker.  Modern society Read more...

Pint Night Pox Strikes!

Posted 3:58pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

Chickenpox’s ‘patient zero’ has come forth after students received an email on Thursday March 14 alerting them to an outbreak of chickenpox (or varicella-zoster) within the student community. The email warned that the virus is “highly infectious” and the “risk of Read more...

Do it Your Fucking Self: How to Breatha-fy Your Room

Posted 3:56pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

As a former “dumb fresher fuck”, you’ve just moved into the big wide world. By that, we mean out of a hall, into a beat-as-fuck six-bedroom flat somewhere on Leith, Castle, Dundas or one of the other streets that almost guarantees you are never seeing your bond again. Your room Read more...

Animated Affairs

Posted 3:51pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

Let’s talk about the legendary sexual awakening. There are the classics you always hear of: Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’ music video or Joe Jonas emerging, glistening, from the water in Camp Rock. A good number of people recall the moment Miss Honey from Matilda pulls down Read more...

Takeaways: Week 5

Posted 3:41pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

Something to watch 5 Broken Cameras  5 Broken Cameras is a documentary film from the perspective of Emad, a Palestinian man who captured first-hand the protests in Bil’in – a West Bank village that struggled against Israeli settlements encroaching on their land from 2005. The Read more...

Editorial: Hook-Up Culture is the New Cool Girl

Posted 3:38pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Nina Brown

Dunedin hook-up culture has gaslighted us all into prioritising male pleasure over female pleasure, and just accepting this as the norm. Women’s sexual enjoyment is swept aside, and being okay with this is added to the criteria of Cool Girl. You’re a Cool Girl if you have mediocre one Read more...

OUSA First Quarter Reports

Posted 3:30pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Every quarter, each OUSA exec member submits a report to prove they’ve actually been doing the job they were elected to do. The exec then meets to vote on whether each member should be paid their honorarium (like a salary for elected positions, paid only on the basis that members are actually Read more...

A Fond Farewell to L.Hotel

Posted 3:25pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

On Thursday, March 14th, we all received a gutting post notification (we have ours on at least) from L. Hotel announcing a ‘CYA L8TER NZ Tour’. The tour marks the last chance for fans and haters (kidding, everyone loves them) to say goodbye to the “tax-evading, gluten-free Read more...

‘Let’s talk about Drugs’ Turns To ‘Let’s Talk Shit’

Posted 3:23pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Sparks flew at an otherwise underwhelming ‘Let’s talk about Drugs’ event where panellists and the handful of attendees squabbled over who can prevent drug harm the best. At its peak, 15 people were at the event, including its four panellists: Max Phillips (president of Students for Read more...

Otago Regional Councillor Calls Student “Entitled” Over Bus Fares

Posted 3:17pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Nina Brown

Last week, the Otago Regional Council (ORC) voted 5-7 not to extend the half price bus fares. In what would normally be a one-liner headline in the TL;DR, Critic sniffed a story when we were forwarded an email chain between law student Grace and Councillor Michael Laws, who attacked her character Read more...

Nonbinary Dirty Talk: 25 Freaky Genderless Naughty Nicknames

Posted 3:14pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

When you’re genderqueer and don’t use gendered terms, it can be hard to include good dirty talk in your sex life. Sex is fun, intimate, and it should be sexy, right? Dirty talk can quickly become awkward Mad Libs from hell when trying to remove gender from your lexicon (“baby Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 3:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Your rizz is at an all-time high. Now’s the time to start talking to your lecturers and tutors nicely. Build that relationship so that when you inevitably forget to hand in assignments, there isn't too much blowback. Sexy-time song: ‘Close’ by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Read more...

Your First Time… According to Wattpad

Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...

Between the Sheets: The Realities of Lesbian Sex

Posted 2:54pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Disclaimer: This article is based on the personal experience of one individual. In this article, lesbian sex is referred to in the context of being between two AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners. Trans lesbians, we love you too. Hello there, queer/questioning/closeted Critic reader! You Read more...

ChatGOTH: Fast and Curious

Posted 2:50pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hey ChatGOTH, There’s an epidemic of straight people walking slow. As a goth, how do you deal with that?  Sincerely, Fast and Curious.  Hi Fast and Curious,  Confession: I’m a queer slow walker. Yes, we exist. It depends on the breed of goth, but most are Read more...

ChatGOTH: Baby Gay

Posted 10:33am Monday 18th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hey ChatGOTH! I need advice. I’ve graduated from just being a bit bicurious to deciding that I’m definitely interested in dating other girls. Exciting, but also very scary! How do I go about doing that here? There are gay girls in Dunedin, right? Is it okay that I’m not Read more...

From the Museum Lawn to the Octagon “Palestine Will Be Free!”

Posted 10:30am Monday 18th March 2024 by Iris Hehir

Disclaimer: The writer of this piece has attended Dunedin Justice for Palestine rallies in a protesting capacity. Content warning: This piece includes discussion of violence and mass death.  The world has watched in horror since October 7th last year as death, destruction, and devastation Read more...

Debatable: Should the Vice Chancellor’s Salary be Removed?

Posted 6:17pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For With the fucked-up state of academic institutions across the world in a neoliberal system where the Uni is run like a Read more...

Transfer Station Dumped from North D

Posted 6:04pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Brace yourself for some trashy news, the local dump is gone. The Dunedin Wickliffe Street Transfer Station (the tip near the Uni) has permanently closed. A shame, since it was both conveniently close to the student area and free for all students to use. Green Island is now the closest dump, setting Read more...

Staunch University Presence for St Patty’s

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The University is set to take a stand on St Patrick’s Day, utilising subbies and a host of others to take an organised security approach during the event.  Subwarden Rachel* told Critic Te Ārohi about the Uni’s planned presence on the day: “They were trying to get the Read more...

New Post-Grad Club Emerges Under Mysterious Circumstances

Posted 5:56pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The Society for Postgraduate Students (SPS) has mysteriously emerged after the old post-grad club (the Otago Postgraduate Association) was left abandoned late last year. The club was sworn into being by the OUSA exec at a meeting on the 5th of March, passing with all Read more...

Harm Reduction Hui ‘Bout to Drop

Posted 5:52pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Harm reduction is about to take centre stage with the Deep South Alcohol and Drug Harm Reduction Hui happening Monday and Tuesday this week at the Dunedin Art Gallery. According to the invite, the key aim is to “provide an opportunity to network to build relationships with others who are Read more...

Dunedin Debuts New Fringe

Posted 5:48pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

On Wednesday, March 13th, the Dunedin Fringe Festival officially kicked off at Te Whare o Rukutia, ushering in 11 days of comedy, theatre, art, and the kind of general sophistication which you just need every once in a while.  The night began with MC/comedian/Fringe act Nicola Brown, who Read more...

Free Breakfast is Back to Five Days a Week

Posted 5:46pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Gryffin Powell

For those of you bold enough to wake up before 9:30 (we get it, you’re better than us), OUSA Clubs and Socs have recently announced the extension of their renowned free breakfast programme to five days a week. The breakfast is open from 8:30-9:30am. Located in the Evision lounge, all Read more...

Music Company’s Policies Questioned

Posted 5:44pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Musos and performers alike have rallied together in defiance of ‘Breaking Sound’ after only one of five acts made revenue on a Wednesday night gig at Errick’s due to a questionable policy.  Breaking Sound is an LA-based company that gets promoters to find 4-5 bands to Read more...

Moaningful Confession: Kiss'n Boob

Posted 5:40pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

I’m sure a lot of Dunedin’s Sapphics can relate. The situation here is fucking dire. The streets of Dunners appear to be void of any queer woman, as do the confessions here. So, I thought I’d contribute a story of my own for your lady-on-lady reading pleasure. Let me set the Read more...

How to know if you’re a breatha (and how you can come to accept it)

Posted 5:36pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Part 1: Develop self-awareness Oh, the breatha. The absolute epitome of what people think of when they think “student”. Like the scarfie of yesteryear, the breatha is everywhere: lurking in your lecture halls, downing Monsters in the library, sifting on your mates. You know them Read more...

Booze Review: 818 Tequila Blanco

Posted 5:33pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

What's better: Keeping Up With The Kardashians on a cold Friday or 818 Tequila on a Tuesday night and keeping up with a developing alcohol addiction?  Kendall Jenner's 818 Tequila has landed in Aotearoa, and we couldn't be happier – finally, I can reach my dream physique of Read more...

Man vs Campus: With Sam Soppet

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

The challenge: seven days, 0.22 square kilometers, one Critic office couch (now my bed). Is it doable? Probably. Will it suck? Absolutely. With the Critic office as my home base and staying within main campus bounds (between Clyde, Cumberland, Albany, Dundas), I aimed to answer the question that Read more...

“Weird” St Patty’s Escorted Walk Raises Eyebrows

Posted 5:22pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Nina Brown

Last week, Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP) had planned to host an escorted walking tour of North Dunedin on St Paddy’s Day for attendees of an alcohol and drug harm hui they’re co-hosting. On Thursday, SSDP’s executive announced its cancellation, stating they’d Read more...