Archive
Blood On Our Hands: Local climate activists taking on big corporations
Posted 11:42pm Saturday 13th March 2021 by Elliot Weir
It’s easy to think that the future is already fucked. Activists of New Zealand past have lived and died fighting for nuclear disarmament, environmental protections, and the return of stolen land to tangata whenua, fed up by the unjust world they saw around them. But we still face apocalyptic Read more...
Indoctrinating Myself With Life FM
Posted 9:57pm Saturday 6th March 2021 by Sean Gourley
FM Radio is like your mate’s parents who you didn’t realise are quite Christian until you started talking about strip clubs in front of them: easy to get along with until Jesus enters the picture. For a bit of a project in O Week, I forced myself to listen to our country’s most Read more...
Spitballing With Scientists: Identifying The Eating Disorder Genes
Posted 9:23pm Saturday 6th March 2021 by Asia Martusia King
Trigger warning: Disordered eating. Maybe you’re born with it. Maybe it’s anorexia nervosa, and you were also born with it. Did you know that alongside environmental influences, eating disorders are significantly predisposed by your genetics? I didn’t, but it sure would have Read more...
The Great Annual Flo and O Week Party Review
Posted 8:35pm Saturday 6th March 2021 by Elliot Weir
Flo Week and O Week felt more like Slo Week this year. But that’s okay, because people change, and so do annually held fortnight-long parties. The idea of Flo and O Week is that second and third years can revel in nightly parties free of freshers. However, this year's Read more...
Strength in Numbers: Looking After Your Mental Health as a Pasifika Student
Posted 3:58pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Susana Jones
I remember walking in to Student Health as a fresher many moons ago, feeling crook as fuck in all ways possible, just needing some help. I looked around for a brown face or name. There were none in sight. My name, pronounced incorrectly, was called out by the Caucasian doctor, summoning me to their Read more...
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dorm: Investigating Campus Superstitions
Posted 2:21pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Asia Martusia King
Otago University is the mysterious old crone of tertiary education. Many spooky stories lie within her walls. She squats in her rocking chair and cackles ominously, regaling dementia-ridden urban legends and superstitions to gossipy students who love a bit of tea. Superstitions are beliefs that Read more...
Fruits Of Our Labour: Is Seasonal Orchard Work All It’s Cracked Up To Be?
Posted 2:08pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
With the borders at a close thanks to the ripper of a year that was 2020, orchards across New Zealand cried out for help. Many Otago students answered the call to be a “Harvest Hero” and embarked on their agricultural adventure. For some, it didn’t turn out to be the experience Read more...
Exclusive Interviews with the Cats of North Dunedin
Posted 4:35pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Elliot Weir
Cats. The muse of many art forms, from 2011 internet memes to 2019 musicals that you really shouldn’t watch high. Unfortunately, most students have neither the time nor the home to house any pets so when we see one of the many cats wandering the streets of North Dunedin we take all the Read more...
The Ultimate Guide to Pulling an All Nighter
Posted 4:30pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
With exams and end of year assignments rapidly approaching, it’s highly likely you are going to have to pull an all nighter or 12. Maybe you’ve had to pull one due to your terrible time management, or your ability to procrastinate literally any university related task, or maybe you have Read more...
Working in the Sun: Top Jobs to Get Cause Rent’s Still Due in January.
Posted 4:18pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Jack Gilmore
Well guys, the time has come. University is drawing to a close, the weather’s getting warmer, Bunnings have put up the inflatable Santa. Summer is upon us. Everyone loves summer. You can go swimming in a lake, listen to Bat Fangs single “Boy of Summer”, have a long walk through the Read more...
Studying Yourself
Posted 9:50pm Thursday 24th September 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Content warning: mentions eating disorders, self-image, and body dysmorphia Sitting in a lecture hall, Alex* goes about their day like usual, with the expectation to learn about their body and how food can affect them. What Alex didn’t expect, is the unintentional resurgence of negative Read more...
#De-Gender Fashion
Posted 9:30pm Thursday 24th September 2020 by Naomii Seah
From women wearing men’s tailored suits in the 1920s, to the sequins and disco-glamour of the 70s, to the new forms of androgynous fashion in the noughties and beyond, queerness and fashion have a long and complex history. In 2020, that relationship is even more evident, with the influence of Read more...
Why is Town So Shit? An Investigation
Posted 4:56pm Sunday 20th September 2020 by Elliot Weir
It's no secret that Dunedin has flat parties good enough to make boomers get mad on the news. But when it comes to going into town, we’re a bit shit compared to anywhere else. With only a couple of clubs, long lines, minimal food options, and a student body that can't actually afford Read more...
The Mothras: a Review of OUSA’s Long Lost Film Festival
Posted 4:47pm Sunday 20th September 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
Back in the good old days, OUSA held an annual student film festival called the Mothras. It was created by student Stephen Hall-Jones in ‘91 and lasted a whole two decades before being ruthlessly taken from us for being too expensive and timely to produce. R.I.P. Originally sponsored by Read more...
How to Pretend you know E-Sports
Posted 9:42pm Thursday 17th September 2020 by Anon
As American Baseball All-Star Sean Doolittle said, “sports are like the reward of a functioning society”. We recognise the trials of athletes as an achievement for life being normal. Unfortunately, life is not normal right now. Now that traditional sports are no longer as massive as they Read more...
Learning Te Reo Māori as a Māori Student
Posted 10:48pm Thursday 10th September 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Te reo Māori is an official language of Aotearoa, but has only been recognised as such since 1987. For Māori, their language has always been the ‘official’ one. For Māori in the early 1900s, most notably before the World Wars, te reo was their first language. However Read more...
Post-Colonial Faith
Posted 10:36pm Thursday 10th September 2020 by Naomii Seah
“Māori theology is spiritual, but it’s also political.” Māori religion and theology has a long and complex history in Aotearoa New Zealand. Importantly, conversion of Māori to Christianity during the 1830s benefitted increasing Crown interest in land speculation: Read more...
Minorities in Medicine: Why Otago University’s proposed cap on medicine will break, not make, the future of our health workforce
Posted 10:34pm Thursday 10th September 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
About two months ago, Critic published a story titled ‘A Seat at Our Table’ which shared the experiences of Māori students here at Otago University and the stigma surrounding alternative entry pathways. While the article and interviewees were met with plenty of support, there was no Read more...
The Faces Behind the Feed: The Stories Behind Dunedin’s Most Iconic Cafes
Posted 10:13pm Thursday 3rd September 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
Dunedin loves its legendary cafes. They are meeting places, study spaces, a place for a catch up with friends, a gig, or a date. Our social lives, as well as our energy meters, revolve around these spaces. But there’s a high chance that we don’t know the stories behind these places, or Read more...
The Politics of Shared Flat Cooking
Posted 10:12pm Thursday 3rd September 2020 by Caroline Moratti
Shared flat cooking can sound like the best idea in the world. You get to save time, money and kitchen space, all whilst bonding with your flatties over a kitchen table and a square meal. What could be more charming? The reality though, can be far from the Brady Bunch lovefest you might be Read more...
What’s for Dinner?
Posted 9:57pm Thursday 3rd September 2020 by Fox Meyer
“Cooking is about controlling fire and water.” With two elements safely under his belt, our professional chef-for-a-day is halfway to becoming the Avatar. Critic extorted him for a free meal. I asked Tony Heptinstall (Senior Lecturer at the Polytech’s Food Design Institute) to Read more...
How to Make Your First Date Less Boring
Posted 9:18pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Naomii Seah
Dating in Dunedin is hard. It’s even harder when the three options available for a date location are: a generic George St cafe, a bar, or their house at 3am. Without some real imagination, Dunedin is relentlessly boring - where else are you going to go? St Clair? The museum? While all decent Read more...
Best Places to Have Deep and Meaningfuls
Posted 9:16pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
If you’re looking to change up your environment for unloading your emotional baggage on some friends and listening to their existential crises, then hitting up a lookout is an obvious solution. Whether it’s a dusty Sunday or a tearful Thursday, there’s nothing like a car therapy Read more...
Class of 2020: Graduates in the Midst of Covid-19
Posted 9:14pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
Graduating is both scary and exciting. On one hand, it’s a major milestone signifying great achievements, hard work and the start of a new chapter. On the other, it’s a time filled with uncertainty and nervousness as we enter our first fancy grad jobs or gap years. But for the class of Read more...
The Cannabis Referendum: Why Young People Are Pro Legalisation
Posted 8:27pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Jackson Burgess
The cannabis referendum - which is taking place next month, simultaneously with the general election - is about more than just whether or not you want to blaze up with your mates. On 19 September, every voter will choose ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the Cannabis Legalisation and Read more...
The Downfall of Drum and Bass: The Dunedin Musicians Who are Reinvigorating the Dunedin Sound
Posted 8:16pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
There are many sounds which come to mind when one thinks of Dunedin. The sound of students screaming at flat parties, the wrath of an evil seagull on the hunt for his perfect French fry, the shattering of glass bottles, the static of a lecturer’s microphone, and perhaps most infamously, the Read more...
How to Pretend You Know Basketball
Posted 8:14pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Anon
If an all-powerful alien entity approached Earth, and in a moment of mercy they allow us a chance to earn our intergalactic freedom via a game of our choice, that choice would undoubtedly be basketball. They’ve even made a fucking film about it, Space Jam, starring real aliens and the single Read more...
Why Go Dry?
Posted 12:31pm Sunday 9th August 2020 by Naomii Seah
“Drinking had taken a depressing toll on my mental health,” said Sushanth. It’s a familiar story. Drinking has become so normalised in Aotearoa that sinking a few beersies with the mates is often the default mode of socialising. Although there can be nothing wrong with Read more...
The Cheapest Drinks in the Octy: A Drunk Investigation
Posted 10:05pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Everyone knows the key to going into town is pre-loading. Without doing this, we would not only freeze to death, but be sober enough to realise that town is shit and we should be in bed. It’s also the cheapest option, and can be the best part of a night out. But regardless of how much you Read more...
Dunedin’s Pub Quizzes, Ranked
Posted 10:03pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Fox Meyer
Considering a cheeky quiz night? Here’s what to expect from your local pubs. Dunedin has enough pub quizzes to have something for everyone. From hardcore quizzes to pissups with a side of trivia, there’s plenty to be found. The scores I’ve given are just a personal rating, so Read more...
How to Pretend you know Rugby
Posted 8:37pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Anon
When I was a wee lad, we would jump in the car, head out to Grandad’s and watch rugby on his big telly. It was legendary. Yelling, jumping, Bluebird chips; from a young age I was hooked on the culture of this bizarre sport. As I got to uni, and started attending the Zoo (rest in paradise, Read more...
Ready, Set, Go: Red Cards in Dunedin
Posted 1:24pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Caroline Moratti
A red card is a sacred institution, a legacy bestowed to us from our ancestors. Much like oral sex, it’s a delight, but only if you know what you’re doing. There are rules you must follow - both as giver and receiver - to ensure that everyone has a good time. No one likes too much teeth, Read more...
Last Man Standing
Posted 1:18pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Fox Meyer
8 months, 2,800 kilometers and $25,000 in donations later, Otago alum Jono Hartland (of Scarfie Weather fame) is almost done with the Te Araroa trail. This man is walking the length of the entire country. Why? “At this point it’s about exposure - getting as many people to donate what Read more...
A Seat at Our Table
Posted 1:14pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
Throughout my years at university, I have been relentlessly interrogated, ridiculed and challenged on one thing: my Māori heritage. Something which, despite it being no one else’s business, has been a consistent topic of conversation. A conversation which always leads to invasive Read more...
Wild Boi Pete Naik: Wildlife Photographer
Posted 7:59pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Fox Meyer
Pete Naik has only sent a dick pic to customers once, and you can see it on page 3. The road leading up to that moment started in Dunedin, and following an unconventional path, it also ended in Dunedin. The same day that he snapped the picture of that pink penis, NZ began to close its borders to Read more...
Ihumātao: A Year On
Posted 7:56pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
"Toitu te whenua, ake ake ake" we chanted. It’s July 26, 2019, and 300 people gathered in front of the Otago Museum reserve. We marched down the main street, collecting newcomers as we did. We circled around the Octagon. The Octagon is where marches usually end but, this time, we Read more...
Which Water Around Campus Is Tastiest?
Posted 7:53pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Critic
During a dusty darty one afternoon, I drank from the Leith river. It left me bedridden for a week with a fever and a cold sweat. Every flush of the toilet was literally flushing down what miniscule amounts of energy and happiness I had left. Student health diagnosed me with ‘ruining your Read more...
How to Celebrate Matariki and Simultaneously Fix Your Whole Life
Posted 1:22pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Matariki, or Puanga for some iwi, is the integral time in the Māori Lunar calendar when a cluster of nine stars become visible in our sky during Winter, signifying the New Year. This year, Matariki is observed from 13 – 20 July. Matariki was an important time for Māori ancestors Read more...
Horsin’ Around: Ketamine on Campus
Posted 1:19pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Asia Martusia King
In March, I got a Google invite from the University of Otago. 2pm – 4pm. KETAMINE. Ketamine is an anaesthetic, known for its usage on horses as a tranquilliser. It also gets you fucked up and therefore is illegal for recreational use. Ketamine can be found on campus, but only if you Read more...
Girls Who Game
Posted 1:13pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Naomii Seah
Women have hobbies. That seems like an obvious statement, but in some ways, it’s radical. Since the dawn of time, women have been persecuted for enjoying the same things that men enjoy—whether it’s comic books, certain TV shows, or gaming. For some unknown reason, the thought of Read more...
Ranking Our Childhood TV Presenters Based on How Much I Want to Fight Them
Posted 1:47am Friday 3rd July 2020 by Henessey Griffiths
Children’s television in the early 2000’s was such a vibe. Whether it be waking up every Sunday to try call the What Now Telly-Op’s to get some free gunge, or trying to get your spot on Sticky Stars Duets; high quality shows like What Now, Sticky TV, Studio 2 and the Erin Simpson Read more...
Student Organisers on Black Lives Matter
Posted 1:24am Friday 3rd July 2020 by Naomii Seah
“People are here because they want to see change,” said TJ, one of the organizers of the Dunedin Black LivesMatter march on June 14. It was the beginning of level two. Hundreds of Dunedites flooded the streets, wearing masks and brandishing pickets. The crowd moved down George Street Read more...
Venues are Struggling, and We Should Care More About It
Posted 11:23pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Henessey Griffiths
Going to gigs is about more than live music. It includes a smorgasbord of various things that come together to form the gig experience: the other punters, the vibe, the IPAs available. The voyage that musicians have been on, from stage to livestream, has been reasonably well documented. But what Read more...
Radio One Deep Dive: Unapologetically Loud, Live and Local
Posted 10:30pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Sinead Gill
Sean Norling is the station manager at Radio One. If you’ve never met him in person, chances are you wouldn’t recognise him in passing. His vibe is lowkey. He doesn’t like his photo being taken. When Critic met him in his office, it was like he felt pained to be interviewed: Read more...
Māori Experiences In Aotearoa’s Music Industry
Posted 7:26pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Māori mainstream music had a breakthrough in 1984 with ‘Poi E’ by Patea Māori Club, reviving te reo Māori songs within a country that popularised little beforehand. Notably, Prince Tui Teka was another early Māori artist who performed songs in te reo Māori Read more...
How to Develop a Nicotine Addiction
Posted 1:06am Friday 15th May 2020 by Naomii Seah
When I was 18, I smoked my first cigarette. I was roaring drunk, on the balcony of an Auckland club, and I remember feeling so cool—rebellious, even. The morning after, however, I began to feel super guilty. My dad had smoked cigarettes his whole life, and he lost a kidney for it. I remember Read more...
Long Live the King
Posted 11:58pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Fox Meyer
According to over 150 Critic readers, these are the definitive King’s Cup rules for Otago students: 2: You, with 93.6%. Nominate a drink. 3: Me, with 93.6%. You must drink. 4: Whores, with 61.8%. People identifying as female must drink. 5: House Rules, with Read more...
Period Suppression: The Hidden Benefit of Contraception
Posted 4:19pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Naomii Seah
The first time I got my period, I was nine. I didn’t know what a period was, and I didn’t know why people were making such a huge deal out of it. It didn’t hurt much, it was just alarming. I was sure that it wasn’t normal to bleed out of your vagina, and I was sure adults Read more...
DIY Tampons: A Warning, Not A Guide
Posted 4:08pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Henessey Griffiths
There is no worse feeling than when you get a surprise period. On the one hand, it’s cool because it means you’re not pregnant. On the other hand, you have to deal with blood leaking out of your uterus for a week or longer, and all the other hormonal side effects alongside it. Everyone Read more...
Students’ Paradise: Quirky, Character-Building Villa, Full of Fun Surprises
Posted 4:53pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti
Betty is a Psychology major in her second year, living in a four bedroom villa in gorgeous North Dunedin. The 21-year-old welcomed Critic into her bespoke, contemporary home to showcase the best of Dunedin flatting. The first thing you notice upon entering is the striking placement of the Read more...
DIY Flat Furniture
Posted 1:24pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Sinead Gill
Pallets and their younger brother, the beer crate, are God-tier DIY materials. You cannot fight me on this. This is a universal truth. Between pallets and beer crates you can make literally any kind of furniture known to man. For years, my bed base was four pallets slapped beside each other, no Read more...
The Great Critic Suburb Review
Posted 4:52pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti
The journey from hall to flat is like from womb to breast; it involves sweat, tears, and a lot of involvement from your mother. But where to even start looking? Let’s say you hop onto TradeMe Property, ready to search - but what suburb do you pop into that little box? Consider looking beyond Read more...
Flat Hunting Tips
Posted 4:06pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti
Every year Critic tells freshers not to sign up for a flat in first semester. Every year, they fail to heed our advice. So, we thought, what the hell, let’s just roll with it. Although the global pandemic might have delayed flat hunts a bit, rest assured the season will soon be upon us in Read more...
Lime: A Year of Outlash, Antics, and Scooting
Posted 10:54am Wednesday 15th April 2020 by Wyatt Ryder
It’s been over one year since Lime hit the streets of Dunedin. Students rejoiced when the pavement was filled with the bright green toys on 10 January 2019. Students wondered: do you ride in the cycle lane? On the street? On the pavement? Nobody knew, and nobody cared. Anarchy reigned Read more...
First Year Woes: Freshers in the face of Covid-19
Posted 12:35pm Thursday 9th April 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
It’s no secret that 2020 is shaping up to be a bit of a shit show for everyone thanks to our special friend ‘Rona. But in amongst the panic and chaos that has swept our university community, I feel there is one demographic which has been hit particularly hard by this event. The freshers. Read more...
Love in Lockdown
Posted 10:26am Wednesday 8th April 2020 by Naomii Seah
If you’re single as fuck, like me, the Covid-19 lockdown is a government mandated four week dry spell. Two weeks in, and I’m wanking with my left hand so I can pretend it’s someone else. I’ve named my sex toys (Buzz and Woody) and I’m taking increasingly long, hot Read more...
Sweet Dreams are Made of Cheese
Posted 3:55pm Monday 6th April 2020 by Phillip Plant
The pirate ship’s remains lay scattered on the beach. The pirate King, still breathing, is dripping with salt water, sweat, tears, and blood all over your lap, on which his head is laid. His exposed torse shines in the moonlight. “It’s just us now,” he says to you; his voice Read more...
Interior Design to Optimise Your Bedroom
Posted 3:15pm Wednesday 1st April 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
Currently, very few students have the luxury of sprawling their stuff into various living rooms or home offices. Many only have their bedrooms to work with. The following is a guide to optimise the space you have, and turn it into the versatile space that all students deserve. 1. Keep your study Read more...
Best Degrees to Ally With During the Apocalypse: Part Two
Posted 10:50am Wednesday 1st April 2020 by Fox Meyer
Alright, we’re back for more. Apparently I forgot a few degrees the first time around, so here’s the first expansion pack for Apocalypse Simulator 2020: Dunedin Edition. Same rules as last time. More options for your 5 flatmates. Eat up. Offence: Zoology: These Read more...
Best Degrees to Ally With During the Apocalypse
Posted 3:19pm Monday 30th March 2020 by Fox Meyer
You’re filling out your dream flat, but can only choose five flatmates. You don’t know how long this will last. It could be just four weeks. Or maybe society will break down, and these five people will be all you have in the post-covid hellscape. Choose Read more...
Anxiety 101
Posted 11:53am Thursday 26th March 2020 by Caroline Moratti
It’s hard not to feel anxious right now. There’s a lot of uncertainty about what’s going to come, not to mention stress about your family and the economy and well, it kind of just feels like the whole world is on fire right now. About a week ago I started having trouble sleeping. I Read more...
American Exodus
Posted 8:41pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Fox Meyer
March 14th: Eight confirmed cases of Kiwi Covid. Jacinda Ardern announces that all overseas arrivals in New Zealand must self-isolate for 14 days. Hundreds of American students in New Zealand watch as their country descends into a toilet-paper wasteland. In Aotearoa, these students are mostly Read more...
Hospo Hell
Posted 6:42pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
Getting a part-time hospitality job is like being a first year in a hall. Not all do it, but for most people it is an inevitable and expected part of the University experience. From the outside, casual waitressing, bartending, cleaning, and serving, all seem like perfect, simple side-hustles to our Read more...
Give Nothing to Racism: A Year On.
Posted 6:40pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Naomii Seah
On 15 March 2019, a white supremacist terrorist walked into a mosque during Friday prayer and gunned down 51 innocent people, injuring 49 more. It was the kind of news that sent a whole nation into shock. Most people remember exactly where they were when they heard the news, and will remember for Read more...
What Pasifika Should Know When Going Into a Professional Degree
Posted 7:02pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
It’s the start of their second year. Five Pasifika students made it through First Year Health Sci. Echoes down the corridor scream ‘yOu onLy gOt in bEcAuse yOu’rE brown.’ They laugh. You fool, you clown. Rat behaviour. Apparently getting through First Year Read more...
Feast V.S. Famine
Posted 6:59pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Naomii Seah
*Content warning; disordered eating, If you are in a college, chances are that you are being fed. A lot. Three meals a day plus snacks. Not all college food is created equal, but one thing is for sure, you aren’t going to starve. You, your scholarship or your parents are paying an average Read more...
The Ultimate Guide to Getting Into Second Year Law*
Posted 6:53pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
This goes out to all you freshers who have decided to take it upon yourselves to enrol in first year Law. You’re anxious. You aren’t entirely sure why you’re here or what your future holds. Did you decide to take Law because you and your inflated ego think you’re better Read more...
Dunedin’s Inglorious Holes
Posted 2:20pm Saturday 7th March 2020 by Allen D'Generate
Imagine, if you would, a time when a lonely gay couldn’t jump on Grindr to find a man to lock dick lips. No internet to waste uncountable hours whacking to Twitter porn, even before Tumblr took away our penises. How does one drain their hefty pent up frustration? The answer, many found, was to Read more...
Facing the Stigma: Emergency Contraceptive Pill
Posted 8:31pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters
“I was so upset I almost forgot that I might be pregnant. I was expecting to be slut-shamed, but I wasn’t expecting to be racially profiled, and shamed for being a woman, a student, and a person.” The Emergency Contraceptive Pill (ECP), known as Postinor-1 or, more Read more...
DIY Dildos
Posted 7:03pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Naughty Nadia and Sloppy Sarah
Let’s face it. Dildos are expensive, and StudyLink doesn’t cover all your needs. In the wake of the impending sex toy shortage, Critic has decided to review some the possible household items you’ll have lying around to make some DIY dilds. From household items, to the classic Read more...
1 Summer, 100 Wanks
Posted 6:40pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Anon
"Fuck, you are so tight," said my client as he lay face down on the massage table. He was trying to stick a finger into my butthole. It took all my might not to burst out laughing. I thought to myself ‘…does this man think he is touching my vagina right now? Does he seriously Read more...
Saving Fresher Lives With Are You OK
Posted 1:57am Friday 28th February 2020 by Bonnie Harrison
He’s too drunk. His legs have collapsed beneath him, so there is someone supporting either of his shoulders – that’s two. His head is lolling back, so a third person holds it up and grips a mask to his mouth, from which a plastic sac drops down to collect his thin, watery vomit. Read more...
The Great Annual Flo and O Week Party Review
Posted 1:56am Friday 28th February 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
The two-week self-induced bender, also known as Flo and O week is a time of awakening, connection and chlamydia. The second years shed their fresher selves, the third years prepare for their final send, and the fourth years aren’t there because they’re too old and depressed. And the Read more...
Ranking 6 European Cities Based on their Laxatives
Posted 7:05pm Thursday 27th February 2020 by Fox Meyer
For this very important and very specific list, I’ve consulted an expert. Poopie*, an American exchange student, has been struggling with chronic constipation for four years now. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her, but she’s carrying around a baby’s weight of shit, and Read more...
Māori Migration to Otago Uni: Tauira Perspectives on Life in Te Cold
Posted 3:19pm Saturday 22nd February 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Moving to a new city fresh out of high-school is daunting. It is especially daunting to commit to a University far away from your iwi or culture-rich Māori communities. It is no secret that Dunedin has a low population of Māori – not to mention, has the polar opposite weather of Read more...
Picking Up Butts
Posted 12:29am Friday 21st February 2020 by Henessey Griffiths
Flo Week is a week-long ceremony of buying shit you don’t need from Kmart and deleting piss with the bradas. Throughout the week, different named flats host different themed parties, and everyone gets absolutely cunted on White Rhinos and Billy Mavs. I considered joining in on some of the Read more...
Remembering The Undie 500
Posted 11:16pm Thursday 20th February 2020 by Chelle Fitzgerald
Now existing only in memory, the Undie 500 was a longstanding event facilitated by the Engineering Society of Canterbury (ENSOC) which spanned from 1988 to 2009, in which contestants would purchase a warranted and registered car for less than $500, decorate it, and drive it down to Dunedin from Read more...
Pull Your Red Card: You're Running Out of Time
Posted 1:11pm Thursday 24th October 2019 by Natasha Parrant
Hosting red cards are good fun when you get everyone in the flat involved and make everyone do some wacky stuff. Whether it’s interactive challenges on the streets with strangers, or just a lock-in to enhance the flat bonding experience, red cards are an ideal way to forget that university Read more...
Milkshake Wrestling, Hypnotists and Buckets of Vomit: A History of O-Week
Posted 9:42pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Caroline Moratti
O-Week is a beautiful time of the year. Wearing too much body glitter, you meet your first-year boyfriend for the first time in the line for toga, and then proceed to throw up White Rhinos in the Arana bushes for the remainder of the evening. It’s a confusing, smelly time of sex, social Read more...
Campus Watch and the Code of Conduct
Posted 9:35pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Erin Gourley
It’s 2005 in North Dunedin. Everyone has a bad haircut. Somewhere in the distance students huddle around a burning couch. Broken glass glitters on the footpath. The 4:20 Club smoke cannabis each week on Union Lawn. Bars around campus sell cheap drinks to drunk students. Undie 500 is getting Read more...
Dave Cull: Beautiful Nightmayor
Posted 11:09pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti
Mayor Dave Cull is a sultry, smooth sultana. His body is hesitantly tanned, his hair windswept to a salt and pepper slick. If I had to liken him to an animal, he would be a seagull. Did I mention he’s an Aries? He greets me warmly and leads me into his office. The door shuts behind us. Read more...
The Dunedin Youth Council
Posted 11:03pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti
When I was 17 years old, I wore too much eyeliner and thought Benedict Cumberbatch was genuinely attractive. I also joined a fledgling group called the Dunedin Youth Council (DYC). In my two-year term, I witnessed horrific ratepayer spending, chaotic organisation and general unbelievable Read more...
The Great Annual Critic Fish ‘n’ Chip Review
Posted 10:58pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Nina Minogue
Fish ‘n’ Chips are a humble feed certain to satisfy even the fussiest and skint. Chips are vegan and gluten-free; those with dietary requirements have no excuse. Tell your flatmate to retire their weekly rotation of spag bol for the night and go suss the flat something they actually want Read more...
Dunedin’s Student Night Shifters
Posted 10:53pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Nina Minogue
Ever wondered what life was like on the other side of a row of tequila shots? Critic talked to the people that see the ugliest sides of all of our nights on the town. The following people have had their names changed so they don’t get @ed, but they are all current students and probably best Read more...
The Inaugural Critic Instant Ramen Review
Posted 10:31pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Wyatt Ryder
Instant ramen has been the stereotypical broke student meal for decades. Grab a pot, boil some water, and you have a meal - it’s great. But if you’re planning to spend most of your mealtimes eating instant noodles, then you need to know how to shake things up. Variety is the spice of Read more...
Nitro Stokes the Student Fire: How a RTD Pays For Student Parties
Posted 10:19pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Nina Minogue
As the only RTD containing both guarana and taurine, Nitro claims to pack the “maximum amount of caffeine legally allowed in New Zealand”. With their slogan “SLEEP WHEN YOU ARE DEAD”, a night on the ‘tro can feel like a fever dream. Their advertising features Read more...
Does Gambling Pay?
Posted 10:16pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Nina Minogue
Between 2017 and 2018, New Zealanders lost nearly 2.4 billion dollars on gambling between the TAB, NZ Lotteries Commission, casinos and gaming machines. This number has been increasing every year since 2010, with gambling estimated to affect one in five kiwis throughout their lives. Being a Read more...
Who to Avoid At Parties, and How to Do It: A Critic Guide
Posted 10:07pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Phillip Plant
I'm a lover of many things. I love staring out of windows, I love ducks, and I love Mitski. But one thing I really don’t like is having to socialise with people I barely know at parties where you can barely hear yourself talk over Darude’s Sandstorm. So, I created my very Read more...
The Great Critic Study Drug Review
Posted 12:16am Friday 13th September 2019 by Critic
Phenylpiracetam I was given this in an antique jar, as if it had come straight from the apothecary as opposed to out of some dude’s giant delivery from the dark web. Unsure of how to consume ‘racetam, I jumped online to find that snorting nootropics such as these wasn’t the way Read more...
The Great Critic Sleeping Pill Review
Posted 12:12am Friday 13th September 2019 by Asia Martusia King
Sleeping is supposed to be the most basic of human activity, but for some reason one in four people really fucking suck at it. While a variety of scientists have dedicated time to helping us pass out, as a budding insomniac, how do you know what chemicals to shovel into your brain goo? Here’s Read more...
Be PrEPared
Posted 11:39pm Thursday 12th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti
If you’ve cried while watching Rami Malek serenade the camera in Bohemian Rhapsody, then it goes without saying that you know how shit HIV is. In the ‘90s, treatment for HIV became available to help treat the virus, which although a lifetime obligation, was treatment nevertheless. But Read more...
Sexual Assault in OUSA Clubs: Creating a Safe Space For All?
Posted 12:39am Friday 6th September 2019 by Sinead Gill
Content warning: sexual violence We all know that university is more than just a classroom. It’s about the skills you learn, the opportunities you take, and how much you get baked. For many students, OUSA clubs are where they make lifelong connections. But what if the Read more...
Critic Reviews North Dunedin’s Milkshakes and Only Throws Up Once
Posted 12:37am Friday 6th September 2019 by Charlie O’Mannin
All the milkshakes will be Spearmint because get the fuck off my back, Spearmint’s great. Your life has been exclusively missionary sex and Chocolate milkshakes, with Strawberry on special occasions. Branch out, give some meaning to your pointless bland existence; fuck doggy and drink Read more...
Sending Out an SOS: Understanding Basic Science is Mandatory if You Insist on Making Decisions that Affect the Environment
Posted 12:33am Friday 6th September 2019 by Grace Cowley
I don’t go out of my way to chat to climate change deniers. As a Marine Science student and environmentalist, little frustrates me more than the blatant disregard for decades of peer-reviewed scientific evidence (which speaks volumes about how much fun I am at parties). But the last place I Read more...
Waste Not, Want Not: The Abysmal Food Wastage in Our Halls
Posted 12:05am Friday 6th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti
A recent UoO Meaningful Confession claimed to be a kitchen worker at an unspecified college, and mourned having to throw out an outrageous amount of food: “Entire tray of rice? Bin. 15 legs of chicken? Bin. Tray of veggies, salad that has barely been touched, and oohh, that one time I had to Read more...
The Funny Bone of the Nation: A Chance Encounter With Comedian Tom Sainsbury
Posted 12:02am Friday 6th September 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald
Unless you’ve been living in one of New Zealand’s proudest backwards communities (Gloriavale or Balclutha), you’ve probably enjoyed a good chortle courtesy of the country’s premier comedian du jour, Tom Sainsbury - Comedian and Snapchat Dude. Tom is an entertainment Read more...
Master of Memes
Posted 11:36pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald
If you want to waste away hours of your life on prime time entertainment, look no further than the Otago University’s Department of Economics (DE) Facebook meme page. There are memes. There are awkward, blurry and sideways photos of people at functions. There are Minions. It goes where other Read more...
Get Fucked: The Great Critic Contraceptive Review
Posted 11:25pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Critic
As we all know, uni is a great time for experimenting with your junk, and the junk of other people. The best way to get your start in a career before ruining your life with kids is to use contraception religiously, so here are our thoughts on some of the more popular contraceptives out Read more...
Denying Them Data: Is it Possible to Function With No Footprint?
Posted 11:17pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Wyatt Ryder
In 2015, the Chinese Government allowed eight companies to establish a social credit system that would automatically rank citizens according to their data (presumably after binge watching Black Mirror). The blueprints for these plans claim that the goal is to “allow the trustworthy to roam Read more...
Close Encounters of the Bird Kind
Posted 11:15pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Critic
When Critic gets invited somewhere with the promise of free food and VIP treatment, it’s fuckin’ on. We gleefully headed out to the Otago Peninsula to see some albatross on a drizzly Saturday, which turned out to be a truly magical day of colonialism, petty theft, and cool bird Read more...
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