Archive

The Cheapest Drinks in the Octy: A Drunk Investigation

Posted 10:05pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Everyone knows the key to going into town is pre-loading. Without doing this, we would not only freeze to death, but be sober enough to realise that town is shit and we should be in bed. It’s also the cheapest option, and can be the best part of a night out. But regardless of how much you Read more...

Dunedinís Pub Quizzes, Ranked

Posted 10:03pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Fox Meyer

Considering a cheeky quiz night? Here’s what to expect from your local pubs. Dunedin has enough pub quizzes to have something for everyone. From hardcore quizzes to pissups with a side of trivia, there’s plenty to be found. The scores I’ve given are just a personal rating, so Read more...

How to Pretend you know Rugby

Posted 8:37pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Anon

When I was a wee lad, we would jump in the car, head out to Grandad’s and watch rugby on his big telly. It was legendary. Yelling, jumping, Bluebird chips; from a young age I was hooked on the culture of this bizarre sport. As I got to uni, and started attending the Zoo (rest in paradise, Read more...

Ready, Set, Go: Red Cards in Dunedin

Posted 1:24pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Caroline Moratti

A red card is a sacred institution, a legacy bestowed to us from our ancestors. Much like oral sex, it’s a delight, but only if you know what you’re doing. There are rules you must follow - both as giver and receiver - to ensure that everyone has a good time. No one likes too much teeth, Read more...

Last Man Standing

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Fox Meyer

8 months, 2,800 kilometers and $25,000 in donations later, Otago alum Jono Hartland (of Scarfie Weather fame) is almost done with the Te Araroa trail. This man is walking the length of the entire country. Why? “At this point it’s about exposure - getting as many people to donate what Read more...

A Seat at Our Table

Posted 1:14pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

Throughout my years at university, I have been relentlessly interrogated, ridiculed and challenged on one thing: my Māori heritage. Something which, despite it being no one else’s business, has been a consistent topic of conversation. A conversation which always leads to invasive Read more...

Wild Boi Pete Naik: Wildlife Photographer

Posted 7:59pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Fox Meyer

Pete Naik has only sent a dick pic to customers once, and you can see it on page 3. The road leading up to that moment started in Dunedin, and following an unconventional path, it also ended in Dunedin. The same day that he snapped the picture of that pink penis, NZ began to close its borders to Read more...

Ihumātao: A Year On

Posted 7:56pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

"Toitu te whenua, ake ake ake" we chanted. It’s July 26, 2019, and 300 people gathered in front of the Otago Museum reserve. We marched down the main street, collecting newcomers as we did. We circled around the Octagon. The Octagon is where marches usually end but, this time, we Read more...

Which Water Around Campus Is Tastiest?

Posted 7:53pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Critic

During a dusty darty one afternoon, I drank from the Leith river. It left me bedridden for a week with a fever and a cold sweat. Every flush of the toilet was literally flushing down what miniscule amounts of energy and happiness I had left. Student health diagnosed me with ‘ruining your Read more...

How to Celebrate Matariki and Simultaneously Fix Your Whole Life

Posted 1:22pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Matariki, or Puanga for some iwi, is the integral time in the Māori Lunar calendar when a cluster of nine stars become visible in our sky during Winter, signifying the New Year. This year, Matariki is observed from 13 – 20 July. Matariki was an important time for Māori ancestors Read more...

Horsiní Around: Ketamine on Campus

Posted 1:19pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Asia Martusia King

In March, I got a Google invite from the University of Otago. 2pm – 4pm. KETAMINE. Ketamine is an anaesthetic, known for its usage on horses as a tranquilliser. It also gets you fucked up and therefore is illegal for recreational use. Ketamine can be found on campus, but only if you Read more...

Girls Who Game

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Naomii Seah

Women have hobbies. That seems like an obvious statement, but in some ways, it’s radical. Since the dawn of time, women have been persecuted for enjoying the same things that men enjoy—whether it’s comic books, certain TV shows, or gaming. For some unknown reason, the thought of Read more...

Ranking Our Childhood TV Presenters Based on How Much I Want to Fight Them

Posted 1:47am Friday 3rd July 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Children’s television in the early 2000’s was such a vibe. Whether it be waking up every Sunday to try call the What Now Telly-Op’s to get some free gunge, or trying to get your spot on Sticky Stars Duets; high quality shows like What Now, Sticky TV, Studio 2 and the Erin Simpson Read more...

Student Organisers on Black Lives Matter

Posted 1:24am Friday 3rd July 2020 by Naomii Seah

“People are here because they want to see change,” said TJ, one of the organizers of the Dunedin Black LivesMatter march on June 14. It was the beginning of level two. Hundreds of Dunedites flooded the streets, wearing masks and brandishing pickets. The crowd moved down George Street Read more...

Venues are Struggling, and We Should Care More About It

Posted 11:23pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Going to gigs is about more than live music. It includes a smorgasbord of various things that come together to form the gig experience: the other punters, the vibe, the IPAs available. The voyage that musicians have been on, from stage to livestream, has been reasonably well documented. But what Read more...

Radio One Deep Dive: Unapologetically Loud, Live and Local

Posted 10:30pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Sinead Gill

Sean Norling is the station manager at Radio One. If you’ve never met him in person, chances are you wouldn’t recognise him in passing. His vibe is lowkey. He doesn’t like his photo being taken. When Critic met him in his office, it was like he felt pained to be interviewed: Read more...

Māori Experiences In Aotearoaís Music Industry

Posted 7:26pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Māori mainstream music had a breakthrough in 1984 with ‘Poi E’ by Patea Māori Club, reviving te reo Māori songs within a country that popularised little beforehand. Notably, Prince Tui Teka was another early Māori artist who performed songs in te reo Māori Read more...

How to Develop a Nicotine Addiction

Posted 1:06am Friday 15th May 2020 by Naomii Seah

When I was 18, I smoked my first cigarette. I was roaring drunk, on the balcony of an Auckland club, and I remember feeling so cool—rebellious, even. The morning after, however, I began to feel super guilty. My dad had smoked cigarettes his whole life, and he lost a kidney for it. I remember Read more...

Long Live the King

Posted 11:58pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Fox Meyer

According to over 150 Critic readers, these are the definitive King’s Cup rules for Otago students: 2: You, with 93.6%. Nominate a drink. 3: Me, with 93.6%.  You must drink. 4: Whores, with 61.8%.  People identifying as female must drink. 5: House Rules, with Read more...

Period Suppression: The Hidden Benefit of Contraception

Posted 4:19pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Naomii Seah

The first time I got my period, I was nine. I didn’t know what a period was, and I didn’t know why people were making such a huge deal out of it. It didn’t hurt much, it was just alarming. I was sure that it wasn’t normal to bleed out of your vagina, and I was sure adults Read more...

DIY Tampons: A Warning, Not A Guide

Posted 4:08pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

There is no worse feeling than when you get a surprise period. On the one hand, it’s cool because it means you’re not pregnant. On the other hand, you have to deal with blood leaking out of your uterus for a week or longer, and all the other hormonal side effects alongside it. Everyone Read more...

Studentsí Paradise: Quirky, Character-Building Villa, Full of Fun Surprises

Posted 4:53pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti

Betty is a Psychology major in her second year, living in a four bedroom villa in gorgeous North Dunedin. The 21-year-old welcomed Critic into her bespoke, contemporary home to showcase the best of Dunedin flatting.  The first thing you notice upon entering is the striking placement of the Read more...

DIY Flat Furniture

Posted 1:24pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Sinead Gill

Pallets and their younger brother, the beer crate, are God-tier DIY materials. You cannot fight me on this. This is a universal truth. Between pallets and beer crates you can make literally any kind of furniture known to man. For years, my bed base was four pallets slapped beside each other, no Read more...

The Great Critic Suburb Review

Posted 4:52pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti

The journey from hall to flat is like from womb to breast; it involves sweat, tears, and a lot of involvement from your mother. But where to even start looking? Let’s say you hop onto TradeMe Property, ready to search - but what suburb do you pop into that little box? Consider looking beyond Read more...

Flat Hunting Tips

Posted 4:06pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti

Every year Critic tells freshers not to sign up for a flat in first semester. Every year, they fail to heed our advice. So, we thought, what the hell, let’s just roll with it. Although the global pandemic might have delayed flat hunts a bit, rest assured the season will soon be upon us in Read more...

Lime: A Year of Outlash, Antics, and Scooting

Posted 10:54am Wednesday 15th April 2020 by Wyatt Ryder

It’s been over one year since Lime hit the streets of Dunedin. Students rejoiced when the pavement was filled with the bright green toys on 10 January 2019.  Students wondered: do you ride in the cycle lane? On the street? On the pavement? Nobody knew, and nobody cared. Anarchy reigned Read more...

First Year Woes: Freshers in the face of Covid-19

Posted 12:35pm Thursday 9th April 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

It’s no secret that 2020 is shaping up to be a bit of a shit show for everyone thanks to our special friend ‘Rona. But in amongst the panic and chaos that has swept our university community, I feel there is one demographic which has been hit particularly hard by this event. The freshers. Read more...

Love in Lockdown

Posted 10:26am Wednesday 8th April 2020 by Naomii Seah

If you’re single as fuck, like me, the Covid-19 lockdown is a government mandated four week dry spell. Two weeks in, and I’m wanking with my left hand so I can pretend it’s someone else. I’ve named my sex toys (Buzz and Woody) and I’m taking increasingly long, hot Read more...

Sweet Dreams are Made of Cheese

Posted 3:55pm Monday 6th April 2020 by Phillip Plant

The pirate ship’s remains lay scattered on the beach. The pirate King, still breathing, is dripping with salt water, sweat, tears, and blood all over your lap, on which his head is laid. His exposed torse shines in the moonlight. “It’s just us now,” he says to you; his voice Read more...

Interior Design to Optimise Your Bedroom

Posted 3:15pm Wednesday 1st April 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

Currently, very few students have the luxury of sprawling their stuff into various living rooms or home offices. Many only have their bedrooms to work with. The following is a guide to optimise the space you have, and turn it into the versatile space that all students deserve. 1. Keep your study Read more...

Best Degrees to Ally With During the Apocalypse: Part Two

Posted 10:50am Wednesday 1st April 2020 by Fox Meyer

Alright, we’re back for more. Apparently I forgot a few degrees the first time around, so here’s the first expansion pack for Apocalypse Simulator 2020: Dunedin Edition. Same rules as last time. More options for your 5 flatmates. Eat up.   Offence:   Zoology: These Read more...

Best Degrees to Ally With During the Apocalypse

Posted 3:19pm Monday 30th March 2020 by Fox Meyer

You’re filling out your dream flat, but can only choose five flatmates. You don’t know how long this will last. It could be just four weeks. Or maybe society will break down, and these five people will be all you have in the post-covid hellscape. Choose Read more...

Anxiety 101

Posted 11:53am Thursday 26th March 2020 by Caroline Moratti

It’s hard not to feel anxious right now. There’s a lot of uncertainty about what’s going to come, not to mention stress about your family and the economy and well, it kind of just feels like the whole world is on fire right now. About a week ago I started having trouble sleeping. I Read more...

American Exodus

Posted 8:41pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Fox Meyer

March 14th: Eight confirmed cases of Kiwi Covid. Jacinda Ardern announces that all overseas arrivals in New Zealand must self-isolate for 14 days. Hundreds of American students in New Zealand watch as their country descends into a toilet-paper wasteland. In Aotearoa, these students are mostly Read more...

Hospo Hell

Posted 6:42pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

Getting a part-time hospitality job is like being a first year in a hall. Not all do it, but for most people it is an inevitable and expected part of the University experience. From the outside, casual waitressing, bartending, cleaning, and serving, all seem like perfect, simple side-hustles to our Read more...

Give Nothing to Racism: A Year On.

Posted 6:40pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Naomii Seah

On 15 March 2019, a white supremacist terrorist walked into a mosque during Friday prayer and gunned down 51 innocent people, injuring 49 more. It was the kind of news that sent a whole nation into shock. Most people remember exactly where they were when they heard the news, and will remember for Read more...

What Pasifika Should Know When Going Into a Professional Degree

Posted 7:02pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

It’s the start of their second year. Five Pasifika students made it through First Year Health Sci. Echoes down the corridor scream ‘yOu onLy gOt in bEcAuse yOu’rE brown.’ They laugh. You fool, you clown. Rat behaviour.   Apparently getting through First Year Read more...

Feast V.S. Famine

Posted 6:59pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Naomii Seah

*Content warning; disordered eating, If you are in a college, chances are that you are being fed. A lot. Three meals a day plus snacks. Not all college food is created equal, but one thing is for sure, you aren’t going to starve. You, your scholarship or your parents are paying an average Read more...

The Ultimate Guide to Getting Into Second Year Law*

Posted 6:53pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

This goes out to all you freshers who have decided to take it upon yourselves to enrol in first year Law.  You’re anxious. You aren’t entirely sure why you’re here or what your future holds. Did you decide to take Law because you and your inflated ego think you’re better Read more...

Dunedinís Inglorious Holes

Posted 2:20pm Saturday 7th March 2020 by Allen D'Generate

Imagine, if you would, a time when a lonely gay couldn’t jump on Grindr to find a man to lock dick lips. No internet to waste uncountable hours whacking to Twitter porn, even before Tumblr took away our penises. How does one drain their hefty pent up frustration? The answer, many found, was to Read more...

Facing the Stigma: Emergency Contraceptive Pill

Posted 8:31pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

“I was so upset I almost forgot that I might be pregnant. I was expecting to be slut-shamed, but I wasn’t expecting to be racially profiled, and shamed for being a woman, a student, and a person.”  The Emergency Contraceptive Pill (ECP), known as Postinor-1 or, more Read more...

DIY Dildos

Posted 7:03pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Naughty Nadia and Sloppy Sarah

Let’s face it. Dildos are expensive, and StudyLink doesn’t cover all your needs. In the wake of the impending sex toy shortage, Critic has decided to review some the possible household items you’ll have lying around to make some DIY dilds. From household items, to the classic Read more...

1 Summer, 100 Wanks

Posted 6:40pm Thursday 5th March 2020 by Anon

"Fuck, you are so tight," said my client as he lay face down on the massage table. He was trying to stick a finger into my butthole. It took all my might not to burst out laughing. I thought to myself ‘…does this man think he is touching my vagina right now? Does he seriously Read more...

Saving Fresher Lives With Are You OK

Posted 1:57am Friday 28th February 2020 by Bonnie Harrison

He’s too drunk. His legs have collapsed beneath him, so there is someone supporting either of his shoulders – that’s two. His head is lolling back, so a third person holds it up and grips a mask to his mouth, from which a plastic sac drops down to collect his thin, watery vomit. Read more...

The Great Annual Flo and O Week Party Review

Posted 1:56am Friday 28th February 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

The two-week self-induced bender, also known as Flo and O week is a time of awakening, connection and chlamydia. The second years shed their fresher selves, the third years prepare for their final send, and the fourth years aren’t there because they’re too old and depressed. And the Read more...

Ranking 6 European Cities Based on their Laxatives

Posted 7:05pm Thursday 27th February 2020 by Fox Meyer

For this very important and very specific list, I’ve consulted an expert. Poopie*, an American exchange student, has been struggling with chronic constipation for four years now. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her, but she’s carrying around a baby’s weight of shit, and Read more...

Māori Migration to Otago Uni: Tauira Perspectives on Life in Te Cold

Posted 3:19pm Saturday 22nd February 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Moving to a new city fresh out of high-school is daunting. It is especially daunting to commit to a University far away from your iwi or culture-rich Māori communities. It is no secret that Dunedin has a low population of Māori – not to mention, has the polar opposite weather of Read more...

Picking Up Butts

Posted 12:29am Friday 21st February 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Flo Week is a week-long ceremony of buying shit you don’t need from Kmart and deleting piss with the bradas. Throughout the week, different named flats host different themed parties, and everyone gets absolutely cunted on White Rhinos and Billy Mavs. I considered joining in on some of the Read more...

Remembering The Undie 500

Posted 11:16pm Thursday 20th February 2020 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Now existing only in memory, the Undie 500 was a longstanding event facilitated by the Engineering Society of Canterbury (ENSOC) which spanned from 1988 to 2009, in which contestants would purchase a warranted and registered car for less than $500, decorate it, and drive it down to Dunedin from Read more...

Pull Your Red Card: You're Running Out of Time

Posted 1:11pm Thursday 24th October 2019 by Natasha Parrant

Hosting red cards are good fun when you get everyone in the flat involved and make everyone do some wacky stuff. Whether it’s interactive challenges on the streets with strangers, or just a lock-in to enhance the flat bonding experience, red cards are an ideal way to forget that university Read more...

Milkshake Wrestling, Hypnotists and Buckets of Vomit: A History of O-Week

Posted 9:42pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Caroline Moratti

O-Week is a beautiful time of the year. Wearing too much body glitter, you meet your first-year boyfriend for the first time in the line for toga, and then proceed to throw up White Rhinos in the Arana bushes for the remainder of the evening. It’s a confusing, smelly time of sex, social Read more...

Campus Watch and the Code of Conduct

Posted 9:35pm Thursday 3rd October 2019 by Erin Gourley

It’s 2005 in North Dunedin. Everyone has a bad haircut. Somewhere in the distance students huddle around a burning couch. Broken glass glitters on the footpath. The 4:20 Club smoke cannabis each week on Union Lawn. Bars around campus sell cheap drinks to drunk students. Undie 500 is getting Read more...

Dave Cull: Beautiful Nightmayor

Posted 11:09pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti

Mayor Dave Cull is a sultry, smooth sultana. His body is hesitantly tanned, his hair windswept to a salt and pepper slick. If I had to liken him to an animal, he would be a seagull. Did I mention he’s an Aries? He greets me warmly and leads me into his office. The door shuts behind us. Read more...

The Dunedin Youth Council

Posted 11:03pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti

When I was 17 years old, I wore too much eyeliner and thought Benedict Cumberbatch was genuinely attractive. I also joined a fledgling group called the Dunedin Youth Council (DYC). In my two-year term, I witnessed horrific ratepayer spending, chaotic organisation and general unbelievable Read more...

The Great Annual Critic Fish Ďní Chip Review

Posted 10:58pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Nina Minogue

Fish ‘n’ Chips are a humble feed certain to satisfy even the fussiest and skint. Chips are vegan and gluten-free; those with dietary requirements have no excuse. Tell your flatmate to retire their weekly rotation of spag bol for the night and go suss the flat something they actually want Read more...

Dunedinís Student Night Shifters

Posted 10:53pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by Nina Minogue

Ever wondered what life was like on the other side of a row of tequila shots? Critic talked to the people that see the ugliest sides of all of our nights on the town. The following people have had their names changed so they don’t get @ed, but they are all current students and probably best Read more...

The Inaugural Critic Instant Ramen Review

Posted 10:31pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Wyatt Ryder

Instant ramen has been the stereotypical broke student meal for decades. Grab a pot, boil some water, and you have a meal - it’s great. But if you’re planning to spend most of your mealtimes eating instant noodles, then you need to know how to shake things up. Variety is the spice of Read more...

Nitro Stokes the Student Fire: How a RTD Pays For Student Parties

Posted 10:19pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Nina Minogue

As the only RTD containing both guarana and taurine, Nitro claims to pack the “maximum amount of caffeine legally allowed in New Zealand”. With their slogan “SLEEP WHEN YOU ARE DEAD”, a night on the ‘tro can feel like a fever dream. Their advertising features Read more...

Does Gambling Pay?

Posted 10:16pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Nina Minogue

Between 2017 and 2018, New Zealanders lost nearly 2.4 billion dollars on gambling between the TAB, NZ Lotteries Commission, casinos and gaming machines. This number has been increasing every year since 2010, with gambling estimated to affect one in five kiwis throughout their lives. Being a Read more...

Who to Avoid At Parties, and How to Do It: A Critic Guide

Posted 10:07pm Friday 20th September 2019 by Phillip Plant

I'm a lover of many things. I love staring out of windows, I love ducks, and I love Mitski. But one thing I really don’t like is having to socialise with people I barely know at parties where you can barely hear yourself talk over Darude’s Sandstorm.  So, I created my very Read more...

The Great Critic Study Drug Review

Posted 12:16am Friday 13th September 2019 by Critic

Phenylpiracetam I was given this in an antique jar, as if it had come straight from the apothecary as opposed to out of some dude’s giant delivery from the dark web. Unsure of how to consume ‘racetam, I jumped online to find that snorting nootropics such as these wasn’t the way Read more...

The Great Critic Sleeping Pill Review

Posted 12:12am Friday 13th September 2019 by Asia Martusia King

Sleeping is supposed to be the most basic of human activity, but for some reason one in four people really fucking suck at it. While a variety of scientists have dedicated time to helping us pass out, as a budding insomniac, how do you know what chemicals to shovel into your brain goo? Here’s Read more...

Be PrEPared

Posted 11:39pm Thursday 12th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti

If you’ve cried while watching Rami Malek serenade the camera in Bohemian Rhapsody, then it goes without saying that you know how shit HIV is. In the ‘90s, treatment for HIV became available to help treat the virus, which although a lifetime obligation, was treatment nevertheless. But Read more...

Sexual Assault in OUSA Clubs: Creating a Safe Space For All?

Posted 12:39am Friday 6th September 2019 by Sinead Gill

Content warning: sexual violence     We all know that university is more than just a classroom. It’s about the skills you learn, the opportunities you take, and how much you get baked. For many students, OUSA clubs are where they make lifelong connections. But what if the Read more...

Critic Reviews North Dunedinís Milkshakes and Only Throws Up Once

Posted 12:37am Friday 6th September 2019 by Charlie OíMannin

All the milkshakes will be Spearmint because get the fuck off my back, Spearmint’s great. Your life has been exclusively missionary sex and Chocolate milkshakes, with Strawberry on special occasions. Branch out, give some meaning to your pointless bland existence; fuck doggy and drink Read more...

Sending Out an SOS: Understanding Basic Science is Mandatory if You Insist on Making Decisions that Affect the Environment

Posted 12:33am Friday 6th September 2019 by Grace Cowley

I don’t go out of my way to chat to climate change deniers. As a Marine Science student and environmentalist, little frustrates me more than the blatant disregard for decades of peer-reviewed scientific evidence (which speaks volumes about how much fun I am at parties). But the last place I Read more...

Waste Not, Want Not: The Abysmal Food Wastage in Our Halls

Posted 12:05am Friday 6th September 2019 by Caroline Moratti

A recent UoO Meaningful Confession claimed to be a kitchen worker at an unspecified college, and mourned having to throw out an outrageous amount of food: “Entire tray of rice? Bin. 15 legs of chicken? Bin. Tray of veggies, salad that has barely been touched, and oohh, that one time I had to Read more...

The Funny Bone of the Nation: A Chance Encounter With Comedian Tom Sainsbury

Posted 12:02am Friday 6th September 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Unless you’ve been living in one of New Zealand’s proudest backwards communities (Gloriavale or Balclutha), you’ve probably enjoyed a good chortle courtesy of the country’s premier comedian du jour, Tom Sainsbury - Comedian and Snapchat Dude. Tom is an entertainment Read more...

Master of Memes

Posted 11:36pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald

If you want to waste away hours of your life on prime time entertainment, look no further than the Otago University’s Department of Economics (DE) Facebook meme page. There are memes. There are awkward, blurry and sideways photos of people at functions. There are Minions. It goes where other Read more...

Get Fucked: The Great Critic Contraceptive Review

Posted 11:25pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Critic

As we all know, uni is a great time for experimenting with your junk, and the junk of other people. The best way to get your start in a career before ruining your life with kids is to use contraception religiously, so here are our thoughts on some of the more popular contraceptives out Read more...

Denying Them Data: Is it Possible to Function With No Footprint?

Posted 11:17pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Wyatt Ryder

In 2015, the Chinese Government allowed eight companies to establish a social credit system that would automatically rank citizens according to their data (presumably after binge watching Black Mirror). The blueprints for these plans claim that the goal is to “allow the trustworthy to roam Read more...

Close Encounters of the Bird Kind

Posted 11:15pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Critic

When Critic gets invited somewhere with the promise of free food and VIP treatment, it’s fuckin’ on. We gleefully headed out to the Otago Peninsula to see some albatross on a drizzly Saturday, which turned out to be a truly magical day of colonialism, petty theft, and cool bird Read more...

Big Hits 2: Critic Goes to Half a Leauge Football Game in Wellington

Posted 11:12pm Thursday 29th August 2019 by Oscar Francis

I arrived at Wakefield Park at five minutes to halftime. It was forty minutes past eight on a Thursday evening and I was running late for no good reason. Aside from me, there were two other spectators: Bryn and Tintin, both ex-Otago students. I mentioned I was writing an article for Critic to Read more...

Stitch Kitchen: a Local Solution to a Global Problem

Posted 10:53pm Saturday 17th August 2019 by Nina Minogue

Fast fashion is an issue that is so big it sometimes feels hopeless. So much so that in first year after I watched a Netflix documentary called The True Cost I swore a silent oath that I wouldn’t buy any new clothing for a year. The good news is that there are lots of things you can do to Read more...

Otagoís Best Dressed Lecturers

Posted 10:48pm Saturday 17th August 2019 by Phillip Plant

Critic tracked down the lecturers with the hottest threads and awkwardly got them to talk to us about what makes their style so fresh. As any postgrad knows, it's much better to sniff lecturers out and catch them by surprise in the real world - that way they don't have time to ghost your Read more...

The Fashion of the OUSA Executive

Posted 10:33pm Saturday 17th August 2019 by Sinead Gill

The OUSA Exec is there to represent us as students, and a big part of that comes with how they present themselves to the general public. Clothes are the window to the soul, so what better way to get to know the Exec than by roasting their fashion sense. Critic cornered the Exec when they least Read more...

Harlene Hayne / Get The Look

Posted 10:31pm Saturday 17th August 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald

“Regatta Chic Harlene” (pictured above) Harlene is here pictured pretending she cares about rowing by pouring a magnum of bubbly over a rowboat. Yes, that’s how you do the rowing, Harlene. Well done.  You win cox. Readers can get the look by purchasing black clothing Read more...

An Impulse Purchas

Posted 9:55pm Saturday 17th August 2019 by Caroline Moratti

Even if you haven’t heard of Sam Purchas, chances are you’ve seen him. When he’s not running unsuccessful campaigns for ACT MP of Dunedin North, he’s strutting around university in bright floral suits, polyester red coats, and paisley shirts. In a town full of Huffer surf Read more...

How to Judge a Goon by its Cover

Posted 6:06pm Sunday 11th August 2019 by Fox Meyer

The Question In 2017 I bought a bottle of wine with a dog on the label, and I’ve spent the last two years trying to figure out why I did that. It started with a simple question: “How does an animal on a wine label effect the price?” I thought “expensive wines usually Read more...

When Harmful Drinking is the Norm

Posted 6:00pm Sunday 11th August 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald

In late 2016, I decided to become one with wellness and stop drinking - I wanted to excel at uni, improve my health, and have more energy. I wasn’t some stereotypical rock-bottom drinker who had ruined relationships and career prospects by drinking, but the thought of a social situation Read more...

Dunnaz Inspired Cocktail Kiwiana (D.I.C.K.)

Posted 5:31pm Sunday 11th August 2019 by Saskia Rushton-Green

Marmitini (pictured above) An iconic Kiwi cocktail, this should be on every local up and coming mixologist’s list of drinks to master. Ingredients: 150mL Seager’s Lime Twisted gin 24mL dry Vermouth 1 generous drop of Marmite To garnish: Marmite toast Read more...

The Great Critic Pub Crawl

Posted 5:12pm Sunday 11th August 2019 by Sinkpiss Plath

My loves, I am writing this to you from a pit of deep despair: my bathroom floor. I’ve been here for what feels like hours. It’s the early morning and I can see the sun rise if I position my head at a three quarter angle over the toilet bowl. It’s a beautiful day. I wrench the last Read more...

Nightmare Lives of RAs 2: The Revenge

Posted 8:33pm Sunday 4th August 2019 by Caroline Moratti

*Zoe is a Residential Assistants (RA) at a hall of residence owned by the University of Otago. This year, Zoe works at an hourly rate of $17.70, which is minimum wage, for 34 hours a fortnight. Her take-home pay per fortnight is $564, while her hall of residence rent is $690, leaving her with a Read more...

Stripping for Monet

Posted 8:31pm Sunday 4th August 2019 by Caroline Moratti

Like any woman, it’s fair to say I have a complicated relationship with my body. By complicated, I mean a lifelong obsession and torment, and by relationship, I mean the kind where you get left on "seen" by your Tinder date and still tell your friends that it was a Read more...

This One Time When I Was Munted...

Posted 10:03am Monday 29th July 2019 by Natasha Parrant

North Dunedin is recognised as a city that goes quite hard – a reputation that has been earned year after year. Sure, not everyone drinks, but a lot of students get amongst it.. Whether its O-Week, Re-O, Hyde, St Patrick’s, Agnew, Courtchella, Backpacker’s Ball, the Manor, your Read more...

Swipe for Smack

Posted 1:01am Friday 26th July 2019 by Caroline Moratti

Drugs. Most people dabble in these illicit substances at some point, whether out of curiosity, thrill-seeking, peer pressure, or my personal favourite, questionable coping methods. That’s showbiz, baby. But the days of buying drugs from some affable Seth Rogen-type in a dodgy alleyway are Read more...

Literotica

Posted 6:12pm Thursday 25th July 2019 by Erin Gourley

My journey into the most sexually tense space on campus (the Science Library) begins with a catalogue search. Peering self-consciously around me, I wait until the coast was clear before typing “sex” into the library search computer on the third floor and then I dive into the Library of Read more...

Critic Dart Review

Posted 12:23am Friday 19th July 2019 by The Marlbros

Darts. Duzzas. Jesus Sticks. People seem to get strangely sheepish when discussing smoking. Most of us have tried it at some point, but whether or not you’re a fiend for the darts is up for your mum to decide when she smells cigarette smoke on your clothes. There is stigma around smoking, Read more...

Does Budget Dog Food Taste Worse Than Expensive Dog Food: A Critic Investigation

Posted 11:24pm Thursday 18th July 2019 by Saskia Rushton-Green

Dog food packaging is designed to target your pet through you. Buddy doesn’t care about buzz words like ‘succulent’ and ‘delicate’, he just wants a good feed. Ignoring how cancerous the ingredients probably are, Critic investigated the difference in appearance, aroma, Read more...

Critic Reviews the Local Dumpling Joints

Posted 10:22pm Thursday 18th July 2019 by Nina Minogue

The Dumpling Lady aka The Artist Formerly Known As Rising Sun Despite the heavy coverage in this year’s Critic, we are not actually sponsored by DL/TAFKARS, although we wish we were. This is a cheap and cheerful food truck on campus whose success can largely be attributed to the delightful Read more...

Window Shopping

Posted 10:18pm Thursday 18th July 2019 by Phillip Plant

Harry loves Sally, Oprah loves bread, and I love windows. There’s something quite special about staring sombrely out of a window, pretending you’re in some kind of indie movie where you say you hate your parents, but you secretly love them, and you can’t wait to lose your Read more...

The Best Bathrooms to Have Sex in on Campus

Posted 10:10pm Thursday 18th July 2019 by The University of Hoe-tago

Mum, if you’re reading this: I’m so sorry. University is a cesspit of horny motherfuckers. I mean, have you ever been to pint night? Everyone seems to be trying to book the first flight to pound town, but there aren’t many spaces for you to get your freak on around campus. Read more...

Out Standing in His Field

Posted 5:56pm Thursday 11th July 2019 by Phillip Plant

60,000,000 tonnes of beef is eaten worldwide every year. So that settled it. I would have to become a cow. I watched a thrilling documentary called “How to be a Cow” and it was without a doubt the most significant and life-changing 60 seconds of my entire life. From this video, I Read more...

Rory And His Forest Garden

Posted 5:55pm Thursday 11th July 2019 by Oscar Francis

On the North End of George Street, in an orange brick house bedecked with vines and separated from the street by a row of feijoa bushes, lives Rory and his forest garden. The George Street Orchard has been ex-Otago student Rory’s pet project for the past ten years. He invites me to try a Read more...

Kaka Vs. Kea: Dunedin Botanic Gardens Edition

Posted 5:53pm Thursday 11th July 2019 by Oscar Francis

There are three, and only three, reasons that a student might visit this fair city’s botanic gardens. Firstly, drinking in a tree in an attempt to mimic an introduced marsupial. Secondly, trashing the fountains in the Mediterranean Garden by partying on the eve of a national tragedy. The third Read more...

When Opportunity Knocks

Posted 5:50pm Thursday 11th July 2019 by Sophia Carter Peters

A small town gal in the big city exercises her gosh-darn given right to hunt for bargains on the mean streets of Dunedin, while giving the lowdown on what’s good, what’s bad and what’s ugly.   Orphan’s Aid Op Shop Quiet and small-ish, on the far side of the Read more...

Busting Dunedinís Myths

Posted 11:30pm Thursday 4th July 2019 by Sophia Carter Peters

Dunedin. It seems that there is always some kind of local lore or big claim being made about this humble little city, usually by wheezing older men at the pub, or by drunk postgrads who believe that four years of living here has made them sheriffs of this here town. Sick of blindly believing the Read more...

Life After Health Sci

Posted 11:24pm Thursday 4th July 2019 by Esme Hall

It was August 2017 and Nick was getting med-worthy grades in Health Sciences First Year (HSFY). But he was not loving life. “I got quite anxious and didn’t feel confident in myself and my abilities. I started thinking I wouldn’t be a good doctor,” he said. Stress turned to Read more...

A Satanic Setup

Posted 6:27pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

“The night is dark, and full of terrors,” whispers Leroy. “Fuck off, Leroy,” you respond. “I’m tired of hearing about that Game of Thrones bullshit.” Your group of friends crosses the field, dark clouds massing above, blocking out the stars and Read more...

A Herbal Hellscape

Posted 6:17pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

It’s common knowledge that humans don’t know everything. We might have figured out how to make handheld phones with cameras so that we can take pictures of our junk and send them to people on the other side of the world, but there’s a lot we still don’t know. This is Read more...


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