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All the Halls of Residence are now on alcohol ban, in preparation for the exam period. The Proctor notes, “This doesn’t mean their residents will stop drinking [but] it does seem to mean they will buy vast quantities of alcohol and sit in gardens and parks and drink it there.” The Proctor does not seem to agree with this policy though, saying that this ends up with students “peeing and breaking shrubs” at the local parks and gardens. He suggests, “It’s perhaps a good idea to forget about the alcohol and study and sit the exams.”

The Blue Penguin Society has been cleaning up debris in the Leith River. “Young girls and old men” have been cleaning out the river, which contains mostly rubbish from a lot of flats on Leith Street Central. Campus Watch has visited all the flats and asked them to be considerate because they are “strangling penguins and things with your plastic bags.”

A group of lads walking along Castle Street decided to place motor scooters on top of cars. The young women who owned the scooters jumped on their scooters and “raced after them and gave [the hooligans] a good description of their intelligence and hereditary.” They then passed on the delinquents’ names to Campus Watch. The Proctor says that they are now saving their money to pay a $150 fine and there will be compensation and apologies to be made.

The Proctor advised students not to go behind the bar, steal a bottle of spirits, and then run on the dance floor and down the bottle. A student “got leapt upon by a large angry man.” The large angry man was security. The student was called upon to the Proctor and will be fined.

The Proctor recently advertised for a new Campus Watch patroller for the academic year and, after receiving 93 applications, said he was “interested by the number of people who want to work with us, or just people wanting a job.”

Campus Watch is also getting a new control room. It will be a “state of the art” centre, completed within the next couple of weeks. The Proctor does, however, assure students “it won’t be up to the standards of an emergency response centre.” Critic advises students, in the case of an emergency, to dial 5000. Unless it really is an emergency, in which case 111 will do.