Carnies Trick OUSA With Gypsy Magic
Sudents eager to risk their lives on the dilapidated ferris wheel that traditionally graces Re-Orientation’s carnival day on campus had to put down their ACC forms on Thursday, as the carnival and associated carnies never showed up.
According to rumours heard by Critic, OUSA has been well and truly duped by the cunning carnies for the second year running. The carnival in 2011’s Re-O Week was cancelled due to bad weather, but it is rumoured that not only did the carnies receive their deposit back, they were also paid in full despite not having to provide services, on the condition that they return for the 2012 Re-O Week. Yet despite being scheduled to arrive on Tuesday, the carnies never arrived, and apparently were not able to return calls due to a lack of access to rudimentary telecommunications technology.
Attempts to obtain further comment from OUSA were met with a rigid, unyielding stonewall worthy of Hadrian himself. Because of this, it is unclear how much truth there is to the rumours, nor how much money OUSA has lost in the carnival debacles of the last few years.
Critic can only speculate why the carnival never arrived – perhaps local authorities became aware that the ring-toss game is impossible to win, or perhaps the carnies all succumbed to the vitamin deficiencies that are the sad but inevitable result of a diet consisting solely of candy floss and popcorn. If there’s one thing that can be learned from the sorry saga, it’s that you can never trust a carnie.