Howie’s Excellent Adventure
A case of mistaken identity sent Critic’s resident cat Howie Staples on a trip down memory lane after a concerned member of the public mistook the cat for a stray and deposited him at the SPCA.
A “crazy mofo” spotted Howie on Monday July 12 during a regular jaunt to the Otago Museum, and abducted him. Critic Editor Joe Stockman, who has legal responsibility for the feline, was informed of the incident when SPCA staff rang to confirm the catnapping. A traumatised but physically unharmed Howie was returned to the Critic office the same day.
Critic News Reporter Zane Pocock is believed to have been the catalyst for Howie’s odyssey, having encouraged Howie to eat glue out of a bucket. As a recovering solvent abuser, Howie had little resistance to the intoxicating effects of the glue. He stumbled to the Castle Building, where he was spotted “tripping balls”. Pocock expressed remorse for the incident, saying “It’s our Monday morning routine… I never expected it would end like this”.
Howie, suspected to be of the Maine Coon breed, was not impressed by the accusations of being a stray. He took to Facebook to vent his anger at his incarceration, saying “Do I look black to you?” – a demonstration of lingering prejudices from his time in the mixed-breed SPCA enclosure.
It remains unclear whether Howie will continue to further his cultural knowledge at the Otago Museum, as well as exactly what horrors he was subjected to while at his old stomping ground. However, it is clear that those looking for flea-infested pussy may now look further afield than the chambres d’Unicol.