Picture this—It’s a bleak Sunday Morning. You wake up in a haze and get a sober look at the absolute babe you’ve pulled at Mac’s the night before. Determined to impress the fine lass, you set on whipping up the breakfast of champions before this one wakes up “fresh” from a beauty rest. Only problem is, you don’t know shit about cooking eggs. Despite multiple attempts, they’re always some variation of the same over-cooked, scrambled disappointment.
Don’t worry lads, I’ve got ya back! So much so your ‘lover’ will be running back for more (eggs, dick not guaranteed). Here’s three ways, take your pick and MasterChef her sweet lil ass.
Make sure you get the free range ones, show her you’re a compassionate lad.
Fried Egg
- Bring an oiled frypan to a medium to high heat (if you want to get really fancy, add some sage leaves and crisp them up) and crack your egg straight into the pan.
- Tilt the pan gently as the egg cooks and spoon the oil over the top of the egg yolk to help crisp the edges and cook the top. Cook until the egg white is no longer translucent, then take it straight off the heat.
Omelette
2 eggs, 2 tablespoons milk, salt + pepper
- Heat some oil in a proper non-stick pan on a medium to high heat. If it’s not non-stick then you’re gonna have scrambled eggs. Every. Single. Time.
- Mix the eggs, milk and salt + pepper in a bowl and pour into the pan.
- Let it sit for about 20 seconds before pushing back some of the partially cooked egg mixture and filling the gap with runny egg. Repeat four or five times until the top egg layer is thick.
- Fill your omelette with your desired fillings, fold it in half and keep it on the heat momentarily before serving.
Poached egg
- Bring a pot of water and two teaspoons of white vinegar to the boil, turn the element down to a gentle roll and use a knife to make a clockwise ripple in the water.
- Crack the egg into the water. You may want to keep rotating the water so the loose egg white all comes together in a perfect little ball. Cook the egg for two minutes for a soft egg and three to four for a firmer one.