Vitalogy | Issue 11

Vitalogy | Issue 11

Phrenology

Student Support have reported to us that many of you are having trouble with the people living in your place of abode. If you do not understand why a person in your living quarters is behaving oddly or badly, observe carefully the make of the skull and face, for there you may find clues to the innate tendencies of the person by the science of Phrenology.

A person with irreputable sexual habits may have an overdevelopment in the area of the brain responsible for Amativenesss - the sexual and social impulses. A person of unsanitary living habits may be underdeveloped in the area of Order, responsible for the disposition to have everything in its place. To find out, you need simply to compare the shapes and contours of the person’s skull in relation to our diagram.

If you are unable to convince your house friend to allow you to feel the bumps and protrusions of his head and face, consider a silent creep into their sleeping quarters at night while they slumber, to gently fondle the crevices of the skull. If this method fails, you may be able to piece together an adequate map of the head from photographs gleaned of the popular “face-book”, so named for its comprehensive collection of the Phrenological data of the general population.

Here is a brief index to match to the view showing divisions of the brain according to Phrenology:

Aquisitiveness - Love for accumulating riches and prosperity
Agreeableness - Ability to win others’ confidence
Alimentiveness - Appetite for food and drink
Amativeness - Sexual and social impulses
Approbativeness - Regard for popular sentiment
Benevolence - Sympathy for humanity
Bibativeness - Capable of combining
Calculation - Ability to concentrate correctly
Casuality - Ability to reason and proposition
Cautiousness - Indisposition to take risks
Colour - Ability to determine colour correctly
Combativeness - Love for encounter, debate, or dispute
Comparison - Ability to analyse and illustrate
Conjugality - Love of companionship
Conscientiousness - Recognition of duty and principle
Constructiveness - Inventive skill
Continuity - Love for society
Destructiveness - Attitude towards punishment or revenge
Eventuality - Love for information and experiment
Firmness - Tenacity and perseverance
Friendship - An attachment to an intimate acquaintance
Hope - Disposition to minimise trouble
Human nature - Ability to read character by conversation with persons
Ideality - Imagination, love of poetry
Imitation - Ability to mimic or imitate
Individuality - Whether close observer or not
Inhabitiveness - Love of home
Language - Ability to acquire language
Locality - Memory of places or circumstances
Mirthfulness - Regard for wit, ridicule and repartee
Order - Disposition to have everything in its place
Parental love - Attachment to children
Secretiveness - Disposition towards cunning, secrecy etc.
Self esteem - regard for individual character
Size - Accuracy at guessing proportions
Spirituality - Faith in the supernatural
Sublimity - Love of travel, vivid emotions
Time - Ability to remember occurrences
Tune - Ability to acquire music
Veneration - Religious fervour
Vitativeness - Love of life
Weight - Ability to judge weight

This article first appeared in Issue 11, 2017.
Posted 2:31pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock.