Dear Sexcellent,
The last few times I’ve had enough luck to pull from town, it’s resulted in some serious disappointment in the form of me finishing way too early. What should I do?
From Shooter McGavin
Dear Shooter McGavin,
Sounds like you’re talking about premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is the uncontrolled ejaculation right after penetration begins, or even before penetration in some cases. It occurs with little stimulation and will often result in unsatisfactory sex for those involved. Men get a lot of anxiety about premature ejaculation—but they’re not alone, as most men experience it at some stage during their lives. So don’t worry, Shooter, most of your buddies have totally been there too.
The majority of the time the cause is unknown. It can happen with a new partner, or only in certain sexual situations, or if it’s been a long time since the last ejaculation. Anxiety or depression can play a role. Sometimes it can be hormonal, related to an injury or the side effect of some medicine.
As with anything medical, the best bit of advice is to go speak to your doctor. They are going to have the best idea of what’s going on for you, and how to treat it. I know it can be awkward and embarrassing to speak to a doctor about these kinds of problems, but trust me - they’ve definitely dealt with this before.
Over time, men often learn to control and delay their orgasm through experience. In some cases, premature ejaculation will be resolved with time. You may need to practice distraction methods. Some men will just think about something else during sex to get them through longer. Some men find that drinking less helps with this problem. Maybe hooking up with people from town when you’re drunk isn’t going to work for you for a while—at least until this is solved. For some, therapy or medication for anxiety and depression can help. Sometimes people use creams or gels that reduce the sensation of sex.
There are a lot of options going ahead. Just make sure you see your doctor about it.
Good luck,
-S xx