Diatribe | Issue 18
Itís Not the Not Drinking; Itís How Weíre Not Drinking
As a stereotypical arts student, Iíve been feeling besieged lately. The government is talking of tying education funding to job opportunities, smoking is being made financially crippling, and now theyíre onto booze. Art, durries, booze: all of the vices that make life worth living are being attacked. Now Iím left staring into the dregs of my coffee cup of goon, and wondering when so many carrots found their way up so many asses.
Being consistently titted and living in a smoky haze, Iíve no doubt that my liver and lungs are in just as sad a state as my wallet. But health must not be confused with wellbeing. While I hold no doubt that the chance of my living into my 90s is slim, Iím determined to enjoy whatever more natural lifespan is available to me. Being drunk makes that a lot easier. Itís an essential escape from the crushing boredom of normality, that spiritual deformity all too often misdiagnosed as common sense, diligence, or even wisdom.
At university, the cause of this boredom is simple. We are rumbling along the tertiary conveyer belt in an institution that is increasingly putting profits ahead of ideas. We are compelled to produce larger amounts of mind-numbingly dull internal assessment every semester. More and more people are crammed into ever more congested courses. And ďcleaning up our actĒ really means cleaning up the Otago brand. The hum of the intellectual market place is being drowned out by hawkers trying to sell shares in the god of growth.
Now, I know that one day Iím probably going to have to stop spending my time talking shit about Plato, Picasso, and Pound. One day I might have to sober up, butt out, and kneel before the god of growth. But university isnít that time or place. Iím going to continue to maximise my wellbeing, no matter what my liver, lungs, wallet, or self-nominated guardian angels may have to say on the matter.
Issue 16ís diatribe suggested that we donít like ourselves. Thatís not something Iíve been accused of before. Iím a big fan of Dan. Iím an even bigger fan when he has a drink in his belly and a smoke in his hand. When other people donít share the same tastes I donít mind. But when they try to stop me from enjoying myself, whatever their motives, then I mind. Iím not trying to push you into the pubs, but Iím sure as hell not going to let anyone push me out of them either. Itís not the not drinking Ė itís how weíre not drinking.
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