Archive

Best of Moaningful Confessions

Posted 4:15pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

It’s only appropriate that the sex issue pays homage to everyone’s favourite sexscapade column: Moaningful Confessions. The column was born in 2020 out of the ashes of the seedy and often marginal Blind Date column. We’ve ranked the sauciest, most salacious, tit-lickin’, Read more...

From the Museum Lawn to the Octagon “Palestine Will Be Free!”

Posted 10:30am Monday 18th March 2024 by Iris Hehir

Disclaimer: The writer of this piece has attended Dunedin Justice for Palestine rallies in a protesting capacity. Content warning: This piece includes discussion of violence and mass death.  The world has watched in horror since October 7th last year as death, destruction, and devastation Read more...

Uni-intolerant: Why do hot girls have stomach issues?

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Jodie Evans

For many starting their university careers, it’s with passionate optimism — the kind where you leave your dull hometown and escape into the big exciting world of adulthood (unrestricted alcohol consumption). But barely one week into what was supposed to be my very own coming-of-age Read more...

The Great Critic Hall Food Review

Posted 2:49pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Critic

If you’re a first-year and noticed a baggy-eyed older student in your dining hall recently, chances are it was an undercover Critic Te Ārohi staff member nicking your food to review. Some would call it subterfuge, but we prefer the term “auditing”. Read on to see how your hall Read more...

Dollars and Scholars: Protest, Property Damage, and Student Activism at Otago Uni

Posted 5:23pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Zak Rudin

Disclaimer: Critic Te Ārohi does not condone property damage. Ah, the ‘90s. An era which saw the fall of the Soviet Union, the rise of the internet, way too much double denim, and a little thing called neoliberalism — responsible for causing the biggest and fastest privatisation Read more...

SIX60 v No 6: Hoani Matenga Hasn’t Forgotten His Roots

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Iris Hehir

Few Kiwis will ever experience the pinnacles of success that Otago University alumni Hoani Matenga has. Ever since his first taste of representing his country for the Baby Blacks (NZ U19s) in 2006 as a second-year, Matenga’s rugby career has taken him on a journey most Weetbix card-collecting Read more...

Campus Watch, Watched

Posted 4:53pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

Campus Watch are the aunts and uncles of North D. They giggle at the antics of youths, make bad jokes and elbow you until you laugh along, and don’t hesitate to tell you when you’re being a dick – aggressively so if you’re caught throwing bottles. Campus Watch is 40 strong, Read more...

Long Live the King

Posted 4:17pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Fox Meyer

According to over 150 Critic readers, these are the definitive King’s Cup rules for Otago students: 2: You, with 93.6%. Nominate a drink. 3: Me, with 93.6%.  You must drink. 4: Whores, with 61.8%.  People identifying as female must Read more...

Goops, I did it again! An idiot’s guide to stain removal

Posted 4:11pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Happiness is fleeting, we all die, and nothing is truly permanent. Nothing, that is, except for stains that you don’t get out in time (fuck you especially, red wine). O week is full of shenanigans that can ruin your clothes, soft furnishings, and possibly your future. Luckily, Critic is no Read more...

Highway to the Danger Zone

Posted 12:15pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Thrill seekers are everywhere in Franz, to the point where bartenders used to “free-pour shots into open mouths like Cancun”, according to some guy I met in a spa pool. And to take care of those tourists, many students work in Franz over summers where they’ll invariably end up at Read more...

When The Party’s Over

Posted 10:56am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Iris Hehir

CW: This piece contains discusson of substance abuse, suicide and sexual assault.    Chances are the worst thing you’ve ever done was on the piss, and the worst you’ve ever felt about life was on a dusty Sunday morning.    “We always talk about Read more...

Putting the ‘Fuck’ in Whakapapa

Posted 10:08pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

There’s a scene in Mean Girls where Karen Smith justifies getting with your cousin. And maybe she had a point. Yeah, it’s probably a pretty desperate move, but in some cases, it’s excusable. You didn’t hear it from me.    They say that forbidden fruit - or in Read more...

Table Manners: Dunedin’s Beer Pong Rules

Posted 12:13pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Nina Brown

You'd be hard pressed to find a flat that hasn't been witness to a fight over the rules of beer pong. Can you block a bounce shot? What happens when you hit the bitch cup? And what the fuck is a frozen chicken? Critic Te Ārohi asked (almost 50 questions), and 282 of you delivered. Read more...

Burning Rubber: Undie 500

Posted 12:00pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Though now synonymous with riot police, couch burnings and general depravity, the Undie 500 (read: “undie-five-hundie”) had humble beginnings – just ask Doris, the ‘67 Holden Special. The annual event was a tradition spanning from 1988-2009, with a history as long and messy Read more...

BIONICLE: The Craziest Use of Te Reo You’ve Never Heard of

Posted 12:16pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

Once upon a time, the great being Mata Nui wandered the endless cosmos. But his evil brother, Makuta, plotted to destroy him. Makuta summoned hoards of monsters, but could not take the Great Spirit’s life. Instead, Makuta cast Mata Nui into an eternal slumber. His body came crashing down from Read more...

It’s In Our Roots

Posted 12:14pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

If you’ve ever done a course on Duolingo, you’ll probably have noticed that the French think shovels are feminine and cheese is masculine. Colonisers, amirite?) But te reo Māori doesn’t really place emphasis on masculine and feminine nouns, and instead garners much of its Read more...

Sub-Culture: The political leanings of our suburbs

Posted 8:27pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Dunedin’s suburbs are teeming with culture – and we don’t just mean microbially. Unfortunately, most students don’t venture out of their bubble of safety until graduation comes, aside from an occasional hoon to St Clair or a mish out to a dealer. From the absurd rent prices Read more...

This Barbie is getting Deported!

Posted 11:05pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

I counted 323 individual Barbie dolls, including multiples in the same box and excluding all Kens because, well, they're just Kens. Of these 323, 209 were either unemployed or just on vacation, and were therefore refused residency by Immigration New Zealand. That includes all of the myriad Beach Read more...

Storming the Castle

Posted 10:49pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Iris Hehir

For the first time ever, it seems that the infamous open street hosts that gave Castle its legend, its lure, its life, have become a thing of the past. Word on the street (or in this case, not on the street) is: Castle is dead.    While the second-years of 1990 sang Queen as they Read more...

Humans of the Cuts:

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

If you don’t care about the cuts you already aren’t reading this page. That’s not who this is for. This page is for people who care about the cuts who are friends with people who don’t care about the cuts - for whatever reason. Maybe their privilege shields them from concern. Read more...

LIT COMP

Posted 4:02pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

General Feedback:   Yeah, okay, wow. Lots of trauma out there. It felt like about 90% of the entries were either about love or trauma, and I get it: those come with intense emotions, and intense emotions are a great inspiration for writing. The tricky thing about writing about your Read more...

Wining and Dyning: I tried dyeing shirts with booze

Posted 5:50pm Wednesday 9th August 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

As long as psychedelics are in fashion, tie-dye is too. I’m all for the “DIY aesthetic”, but I’m a staunch advocate for actually doing it yourself. A cheeky tie-dye is a great way to give new life to an old garment, plus, dunking clothes into chemicals and watching the Read more...

Fashion Forecast: Historical Trends To Bring Back

Posted 1:55pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Fashion has always been cyclical. Typically, the overarching trends of each decade are a direct contrast to that decade or decades prior. Think of the boxy, baggy, top-heavy silhouettes of the ‘80s sandwiched between the more fitted and A-line shapes of the ‘70s and ‘90s. In Read more...

Unusual, unwelcome, under-the-radar:

Posted 1:30pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

There are a lot of invasive species in Aotearoa. Aside from the infamous rats and possums, there’s everything from pine trees and deer to finches and perches, and they all pose threats to our native ecosystems. There are also species that have been brought over and naturalised but aren’t Read more...

Out of Sight, Out of Mind:

Posted 1:26pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Dunedin is saturated with cheap, easy food joints within walking distance for most students, yet more and more are offering delivery through third-party apps like UberEats. Too many, in fact – some of the restaurants offered on delivery apps don’t actually exist as physical stores. The Read more...

Functional Zero

Posted 4:25pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Homelessness in Dunedin has once again reared its ugly head, finding a footing as many are pressed into uncomfortable situations by the climbing cost of living. It’s not only a local issue - the housing crisis has been steadily increasing nationwide, with the Human Rights Commission estimating Read more...

Matariki, Mātauranga Māori, and Modern Science

Posted 4:23pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

In the early years of learning maths and chemistry, posters fill the classroom walls. They’re plastered with motivational slogans like “Music: proof the brain enjoys counting”, “Chemistry is everything”, and “Maths: the secret language of the universe”. Read more...

Vape Laws: A Breath of Fresh Air?

Posted 9:56pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

The other night, I found myself and my five flatmates talking about how bad vaping was and everything the government should be doing to address it – all while we passed around my friend’s big, blue, bubble-shaped vape filled with grape ice juice. “It’s liquid in your Read more...

Critic Te Ārohi Census 2023

Posted 1:11pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

Last month we challenged you to fill out our 2023 Census. 242 brave students took the plunge, five more than in 2022. We made you endure more than fifty questions that you may or may not have spent too much time thinking about when you should have been studying for your exam the next day, and you Read more...

Good (enough) Housekeeping: A Woman's Guide to Domestic Bliss in Dunners

Posted 5:14pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Here at Critic Te Ārohi, we recognise what a relatable struggle it is to be both the perfect student and the perfect housewife. Everyone’s felt the burnout that comes from having to turn in an assignment at 12 and turn out a gorilla-grip coochie at 1, am I right? AM or PM, it’s a Read more...

Which Political Scandal are You?

Posted 5:07pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

How did you pick your major? You decided to study an incredibly challenging course like law or med in Year 11 and haven’t considered any alternative since. You came to uni to study psych, but quickly realised there were much easier degrees to finish in three years while barely Read more...

Miss Representation: The New Era of the ‘Dunedin Sound’ Maintains The Sexist Undercurrents of the Past

Posted 3:53pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

There is something seriously lacking in Dunedin. And no, it’s not just the scarcity of our venues. Something is miss-ing, if you will. Since the 1980s, the Dunedin Sound has been dominated by male voices. Right now the genre is still defined by surf-rock or alternative-indie sounds, which Read more...

GET THE HECKLE OFF STAGE: Heckling in Ōtepoti’s Live Music Scene

Posted 3:37pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Sorry, not sorry, but this article starts with a public flaying. If you were the breatha at the Soaked Oats gig at Mayfair earlier this year who called out if the band could “play that one again so I can boo it some more?” after they performed their final song, I hope you’re Read more...

The 22nd Annual Critic Fish n Chip Review

Posted 2:48pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Hugh Askerud

It’s time for the annual Critic Te Ārohi fish and chip shop review. Need we say more? Actually, we do, because this year we have decided to revolutionise the review system. One look at the infamous ‘Dunedin Fish and Chip Shop Review’ Facebook page suggests that North D is Read more...

The History of Hyde

Posted 1:51pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

25 years ago, it was a couple of mates doing a keg race. Today, the Hyde Street Party is one of the most iconic days of the year. Like fish to water, thousands of costumed students flock to the little street each year to sink piss under the open sky, accompanied by sausage sizzles and the Read more...

Would Your Degree Survive a Horror Film?

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by James Downing

University is meant to be fun and exciting but, let's be real, sometimes it can feel like a horror show. And just like any good slasher flick, recently it’s been giving us more than our fair share of cuts. So, for the fearless among us: are you curious about what lurks behind the Read more...

Voluntourism: Does the “Third World” Really Need Our “Help”?

Posted 3:57pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Zak Rudin

Voluntourism. You’ve probably heard of it as that thing your mate did over summer where they travelled the world while helping indigenous communities in poor countries. Sounds great, right? Not always. Voluntourism can be extremely exploitative, while advertising is designed to hook Read more...

PAID IN FULL WITH BLOOD

Posted 3:53pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Kawiti was tired of digging graves, so he started digging trenches. Amidst a showdown between northern Māori and British forces, the Musket War veteran began construction of an underground fortress. Kawiti’s formidable pā was a never-before-seen bastion, made up of underground Read more...

Crushing the Critic and Conscience:

Posted 3:03pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

On Thursday last week, the University announced that several hundred staff would be made redundant to help shore up their financial situation. They’ve increased student fees by the maximum allowable amount every year for several years now, and borrowed $30 million in December 2022 from bank Read more...

Faux Poverty

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Iris Hehir

Life in the ‘student city’ is a point of debate, disgust, and drama across the country. From falling off roofs on St Patrick's Day (which traditionally starts at 6am) to law camp scandals, endless Student Health AA referrals, flat initiations, the dying art of couch burning, and, of Read more...

You Cannot Be What You Cannot See

Posted 11:58am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Since the establishment of colonial society in Aotearoa, Māori have remained massively underrepresented within the medical workforce. Despite increases since the 1990s, many Māori are often only able to find employment in entry-level, minimum-wage jobs such as cleaning, caregiving, and Read more...

Dunedin culture: An international perspective

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

Now that the Covid monster has been slain (in the eyes of policymakers at least), the borders have opened and Dunedin has welcomed a swarm of international students finally able to fulfil their questionable dreams of studying at Otago. This year, the University has more than 750 international Read more...

Dunedin: The RTD capital

Posted 2:52pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

When you’re drinking four nights a week, the contents of your can becomes a hot topic. Stories are told about that mean Byron Bay drink you had last Thursday, and how you can never go back to Part Time Rangers since you fucked out in the curb outside Rob Roy in first year. RTDs do more than Read more...

Like Water: Māori and Gender Fluidity

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Skyla o Ngāti Hine

Māori ideas of gender, like water, were fluid. Also like water, they were polluted when colonists arrived and we’re still trying to take stock of the damage. But times are changing. At this year’s Te Matatini, the largest spectacle of kapa haka in the world, something Read more...

Georgina

Posted 3:26pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Elliot Weir

[Content warning: Brief discussion of sexual assault and suicidal thoughts.] Georgina Beyer was the world’s first openly trans mayor, among many, many other things. She died earlier this month, but will hold forever an important place in New Zealand (and world) history. Georgina grew up Read more...

The Seven Wonders of Castle Street

Posted 2:52pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Iris Hehir

The Seven Wonders of the Natural World are incredible and inspiring demonstrations of nature’s power, eclipsed only in recent years by better things like the internet and the Crunchwrap Supreme™.   But you don’t have to travel to the Amazon to be awestruck by natural Read more...

Live Laugh Lettuce

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by

Dunedin students have long copped a bad rep when it comes to sustainability. Google “Otago Uni student culture” and you’ll see images of crappy $2 store costume-clad Hyde Street Party goers, couch burnings, and streets littered with broken glass. These depictions don’t Read more...

Crunch/Time: A methodological analysis of snack texture over time

Posted 1:32pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Elliot Weir

Abstract   This study was designed to address the common problem of post-party stale-chippery. Our results suggest that corn- versus potato-based chips de-crunchify at variable rates, and indicate that the safest snacks to leave open overnight are Harvest Snaps, Cornados, Snakachangi Read more...

Nacho Average Food Critics: The Critic Te Ārohi Nacho Review

Posted 12:44pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Nachos are an easy, reliable, hearty meal. They should, therefore, be nearly impossible to fuck up. And yet, being the exceptional city that it is, Dunedin has somehow managed to fuck them up.   We crawled from chip to chip across town seeking out all the best places to get your nacho Read more...

The Return of the Olympics of Māoridom

Posted 2:23pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Te Matatini has returned after a four-year hiatus, with a fiery comeback in Tāmaki Makaurau. Known as the ‘Olympics of Māoridom’, or even the ‘Broadway of the Pacific’, 45 groups across 13 regions gathered to celebrate the competition’s great return after the Read more...


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