Archive
Booze Reviews: White Russian
Posted 8:37am Tuesday 23rd April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams
There’s something to be said about milk-based cocktails. They’re sweet, creamy, and have you teetering on the edge of shitting your pants. Having recently watched The Big Lebowski, naturally White Russians were the only way to approach this inconsistent but virtuous thrill of Read more...
Moaningful Confessions: Bathroom Olympics
Posted 8:08pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Critic
This is how I won a $3 plastic trophy for winning a sex competition. Last year a mate and I wanted to attend an event: party buses, bar crawl and silly dress up – ideal. It was a five hour drive away, but we figured that if we found men at the event to shack up with the accommodation was free Read more...
Debatable: Should climate change be an individual responsibility?
Posted 7:56pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Julia Randerson
Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For Let’s face it: the UN’s climate conferences are infamously ineffective, corporations tend to dislike any Read more...
Local Produce: Ann Arkii
Posted 5:25pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Ann Arkii is the Monarch of the Ōtepoti drag scene. Having performed drag for over a year, Ann is often credited with revitalising the drag scene in Dunedin through the Ōtepoti Drag Directory, which helps feature and encourage emerging drag artists. Critic Te Ārohi sat down with Ann Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 8
Posted 5:05pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Critic
Aquarius Aquarius, you have been busy, and it’s showing. The dark circles and chapped lips aren't cute. Sometimes taking a night off the booze is a good idea so you won't look 20 going on 35. Your turn on: Netflix adaptation of Wattpad porn Pisces A bad week is in the cards for Read more...
Introducing Your Clubs & Socs Rep
Posted 5:02pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Emma Jackson
Hello lovely people! My name is Emma Jackson and I am your Clubs and Socs Rep for 2024 <3 A few things about me is that I was born in Saudi Arabia, living there for 10 years before moving back to Aotearoa and setting up camp in Christchurch. I play competitive tennis, love tramping and Read more...
Editorial: Touch Some Grass
Posted 4:55pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Nina Brown
We’re all saying it: winter is coming, and with it the winter blues. Soon enough it’ll have all of us in its clutches once more as we wallow in the sunless pit of North Dunedin. There are all kinds of things that are recommended to help you cope. My advice? Just touch some Read more...
Local Produce: HŌHĀ
Posted 2:09pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Jordan Irvine
HŌHĀ is an Ōtepoti noise duo composed of drummer Madison Kelly (they/them) and guitarist Liam Clune (he/him). The band formed in early 2021, with the two friends coming together for jam sessions before eventually becoming a band playing gigs, most recently at Camp A Low Read more...
Debatable: Should we decriminalise all drugs?
Posted 1:56pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Julia Randerson
Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For It’s high time to hash out some legislation that treats drug use as a health issue, not a criminal one. The Read more...
Booze Reviews: Long White Hazy Lemonade
Posted 1:49pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams
RTD’s have now fallen victim to the shameless marketing trend that’s conned every corduroy-wearing millennial in Wellington into drinking the most experimental hazy IPA. Trying to prove your superiority of taste and class doesn’t cover up the fact you get shamelessly pissed every Read more...
Moaningful Confessions: Ex-Best Friend’s Ex-Boyfriend Fucker
Posted 1:21pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic
Thank god this happened back in my home country, I would be shanked if this got back to them. At my school in year 12, my friend (let’s call her Amelia) got a boyfriend (let’s call him Jed) who had a completely identical (slightly fitter) twin brother. I, being perpetually single Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 7
Posted 1:19pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic
Aquarius You’re at a crossroads this week. Either accept that you have tummy issues and swap to oat milk or shit yourself in the most embarrassing place possible: three metres away from the bouncer outside U-Bar. Strain of weed to try: Sour Diesel Pisces You take a creative Read more...
Editorial: Stay Safe, Kids
Posted 1:08pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nina Brown
Welcome to the Drugs Issue. You may have picked that up already based on the bong-heavy design of both the cover and centrefold. We timed it to come out the week of Hyde Street Party and 4/20 – which conveniently happens to be the same day this year. I see you, OUSA. “Drugs” is Read more...
Local Produce: Purple Dog
Posted 10:09pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Starting off the year with a slew of Pint Night performances at U-Bar, Purple Dog have now established themselves as a prominent Ōtepoti band. As they gear up to release a second single, Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the band to ask about their origin story, new music, and upcoming Read more...
Debatable: Should Hyde residents have to pay for tickets to the Hyde Street Party?
Posted 10:07pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Liam Gould
Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For: Liam Gould Okay, so it might be a bit stink that on top of overpaying for what is likely a cold and damp flat on Read more...
Booze Review: Mulled Wine
Posted 9:57pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams
Daylight savings is creeping forward, bringing with it shit weather and a splash of seasonal depression. In this autumnal slump, we want a drink that reminds us of simpler times, like Christmas – not New Zealand Christmas, but the one you see in low-budget rom-coms. I want to get fucked up Read more...
ChatGOTH: Heracles
Posted 9:50pm Friday 5th April 2024 by ChatGOTH
Hi ChatGOTH, I need help slaying the Hydra. My ex will not stop trying to talk to me. As per usual post-break up courtesy, I asked for space but little did I know how challenging this labour would be. Long story short, it got to the point where I had to block her (so my phone would stop Read more...
Takeaways: Week 6
Posted 9:49pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic
SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘Almost Pumping’ short film If you haven’t watched it yet, you’re missing out. Isaac Chadwick’s short film ‘Almost Pumping’ is a 16-minute fever dream of surf, as Chaddy and his mates tackle the waves of Indonesia, describing Read more...
Moaningful Confessions: Catman
Posted 8:53pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic
We’re coming up on the anniversary of this story so I feel as though I have enough closure to share it. This was my first attempt at a Tinder hook up after a breakup, and I knew the guy from home so I thought it would be chill. No surprises, I was wrong. Everything is set up, Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 6
Posted 8:28pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic
Aquarius When life gives you lemons, make a vodka LLB (lemon, lime and bitters), sit back and watch the world burn. There is nothing you can do to save those plebs. Your morning mantra: I am healthy, I am wealthy Pisces You are very aware of your surroundings this week. While your intuition is Read more...
Editorial: Turn On Your Heat Pump
Posted 8:25pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Nina Brown
It’s time we all grew up and turned our heat pumps on. I will die on this hill. To all the power Scrooges out there, I get it. The early stages of flatting are a hard fiscal slap in the face. You hear the phrase “cozzie livs” (boomer translation: “cost of living”) Read more...
Booze Review: Sour Apple Cruisers
Posted 4:35pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams
Critic was a bit late this St Patty’s to jump on the bandwagon and acquire the breatha’s Irish drink of choice: Lime Cruisers. We even mished to the unfamiliar territory of South Dunedin, but to no avail. We were left with the consolation prize, the ugly step-sister of this green and Read more...
Mi Goreng Graduate: Chocolate Mousse
Posted 4:33pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Ruby Hudson
Serves: 6 Time: 20 mins + 2 hrs cooling Bring on those sexual desires and impress that special someone with this smooth and luxurious choccy mousse. Since dark chocolate is packed full of aphrodisiac, this recipe is sure to get you in the mood. While I admit the whole aphrodisiac thing could be Read more...
Local Produce: Give Up
Posted 4:06pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Give Up is the newest Ōtepoti shit-head post-punk band. They came to prominence last year after making the Bring the Noise finals, which was only their second gig. Now, after opening for Beet-wix and snagging a pint night slot, they’re rolling with the motion of the ocean and are keen to Read more...
Debatable: Should you watch porn?
Posted 4:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Abby Bowmar
TW: SA, mentions of abuse For You have an internet connection, an incognito tab, and 10 minutes (8? 5? 2?) on your hands. Put aside the guilt your Catholic primary school instilled in you, and remember to disconnect from your flat’s Bluetooth speaker. Modern society Read more...
Do it Your Fucking Self: How to Breatha-fy Your Room
Posted 3:56pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet
As a former “dumb fresher fuck”, you’ve just moved into the big wide world. By that, we mean out of a hall, into a beat-as-fuck six-bedroom flat somewhere on Leith, Castle, Dundas or one of the other streets that almost guarantees you are never seeing your bond again. Your room Read more...
Takeaways: Week 5
Posted 3:41pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic
Something to watch 5 Broken Cameras 5 Broken Cameras is a documentary film from the perspective of Emad, a Palestinian man who captured first-hand the protests in Bil’in – a West Bank village that struggled against Israeli settlements encroaching on their land from 2005. The Read more...
Editorial: Hook-Up Culture is the New Cool Girl
Posted 3:38pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Nina Brown
Dunedin hook-up culture has gaslighted us all into prioritising male pleasure over female pleasure, and just accepting this as the norm. Women’s sexual enjoyment is swept aside, and being okay with this is added to the criteria of Cool Girl. You’re a Cool Girl if you have mediocre one Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 5
Posted 3:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic
Aquarius Your rizz is at an all-time high. Now’s the time to start talking to your lecturers and tutors nicely. Build that relationship so that when you inevitably forget to hand in assignments, there isn't too much blowback. Sexy-time song: ‘Close’ by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Read more...
ChatGOTH: Fast and Curious
Posted 2:50pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by ChatGOTH
Hey ChatGOTH, There’s an epidemic of straight people walking slow. As a goth, how do you deal with that? Sincerely, Fast and Curious. Hi Fast and Curious, Confession: I’m a queer slow walker. Yes, we exist. It depends on the breed of goth, but most are Read more...
ChatGOTH: Baby Gay
Posted 10:33am Monday 18th March 2024 by ChatGOTH
Hey ChatGOTH! I need advice. I’ve graduated from just being a bit bicurious to deciding that I’m definitely interested in dating other girls. Exciting, but also very scary! How do I go about doing that here? There are gay girls in Dunedin, right? Is it okay that I’m not Read more...
Debatable: Should the Vice Chancellor’s Salary be Removed?
Posted 6:17pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society
Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For With the fucked-up state of academic institutions across the world in a neoliberal system where the Uni is run like a Read more...
Moaningful Confession: Kiss'n Boob
Posted 5:40pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic
I’m sure a lot of Dunedin’s Sapphics can relate. The situation here is fucking dire. The streets of Dunners appear to be void of any queer woman, as do the confessions here. So, I thought I’d contribute a story of my own for your lady-on-lady reading pleasure. Let me set the Read more...
Booze Review: 818 Tequila Blanco
Posted 5:33pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams
What's better: Keeping Up With The Kardashians on a cold Friday or 818 Tequila on a Tuesday night and keeping up with a developing alcohol addiction? Kendall Jenner's 818 Tequila has landed in Aotearoa, and we couldn't be happier – finally, I can reach my dream physique of Read more...
Local Produce: Rosie Roaché
Posted 5:16pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Rosie Roaché is a talented visual artist with a show coming to Dunedin Fringe. After the success of last year's candid photography exhibition ‘Flâneur’, Rosie is back with an innovative personal project involving Pasifika culture. ‘Brown Skin Girls’ is a Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 4
Posted 5:10pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic
Aquarius Aquababes, you are levelling up and recognising your worth. Financially you're doing amazing, finally curbing that wee spending habit. Stay focused and remember: just because it's on sale, that doesn't mean you're losing money if you don't buy it. Sweet treat of the Read more...
Editorial: We Need to Talk About Gaza
Posted 5:08pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Nina Brown
We’re going to talk about Gaza. It would be a mistake to think that this is a decision Critic has taken lightly. Editorship at Critic is constantly changing. Most editors only stay for one year, with former editor Fox breaking the mould by staying for two. And with each editor, the Read more...
Do it your fucking self: How to fix a scratchy woollen jumper or flannel
Posted 5:04pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic
Yeah, it’s still too warm for flannels but that just means that they’re dirt cheap at op shops. Wool (as in fibre grown from sheep or similar, not just any kind of yarn) is a natural material that keeps you warm and dries quickly when it’s wet. It can also be scratchier than a Read more...
Moaningful Confessions: Luigi's Mansion
Posted 12:07pm Monday 11th March 2024 by Critic
It was a dark and stormy night; the wind was howling like the swirling storm inside (my uterus). Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried. It was semester break, and my friends and I decided to mish to Queenstown for a few days. After a long and windy trip across the mushroom kingdom, we Read more...
Booze Review: Hennessy Very Special Cognac
Posted 1:41pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams
Hennessy is like that one soundcloud rapper from high school who exclusively wears Vlone and thinks they’re one song away from making it big. It looks like a top shelf liquor and has the price tag to match, but leaves everyone looking at you questioning who the fuck you think you Read more...
Local Produce: Tama Alexander
Posted 1:30pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Tama Alexander is a prominent voice in the comedy scene who uses his student experiences to entertain both locally and nationally, combining cutting sardonic humour with musical theatricality. The 2023 Dunedin Fringe Festival saw Tama’s debut solo show ‘Fresher’, which detailed his Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 3
Posted 1:27pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Critic
Aquarius You have a good head on your shoulders, so why are you leading them on? It’s not like you to be so flaky with romance and friendships. Figure out what you want and commit – it won’t be easy, but it’s better than the guilt, Aquarius. Habit to pause: Hitting Read more...
Editorial: But Why is the Fun Gone?
Posted 1:15pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Nina Brown
Students can’t seem to catch a fucking break. There’s something in the water, and it’s certainly not rum. Nothing alcohol-related, adjacent, or even slightly hinting at the A-word. That’s a bad word now. I’d like to start with the disclaimer that we’re Read more...
Debatable: Should lecture recordings be made available from St Paddy’s Day?
Posted 1:10pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society
Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For Every lecturer knows that St Patrick’s Day is a de-facto Dunedin day of rest. To go against this and refuse to Read more...
ChatGOTH: InsomNina
Posted 12:45pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by ChatGOTH
ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hi ChatGOTH, I was going to send in something about my sex life but it's been so long since I've felt human touch that there's honestly no point. The more Read more...
Do it your fucking self: How to Unfuck your Vacuum
Posted 4:52pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet
Picture this: you’ve been riding the bender-coaster that is Flo and O-Week, you roll out of your bed on the wrong side of midday, and in a rare sober moment for you (or any student), you realise that your flat is a tip. A bombsite, even. Sure, you rush around and do your laundry, but the Read more...
Takeaways: Week 2 2024
Posted 4:33pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Critic
SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ - Prince, Tom Petty, Steve Winwood, Jeff Lynne, more Taking place at the 2004 Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, two members of the Wilb’s help sing the ‘Quiet Beatle’ banger “While My Guitar Gently Read more...
ChatGOTH: Birkenstunk
Posted 4:26pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by ChatGOTH
ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hey girl!!!! Just thought I would reach out with one of the issues I've currently been going through. Generally speaking, I'm a pretty happy guy with great Read more...
Local Produce: VELVET the label.
Posted 5:11pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Max Came is the frontman of indie rock band Hot Sauce Club, and has recently created VELVET the label., alongside Will Georgeson of Pool House and Max Hackshaw of Frank on Tap. VELVET exists to promote artists around New Zealand and the world, currently made up of the three bands but looking to Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 2 2024
Posted 4:21pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic
Aquarius Aquarius, 2024 is the year to be you. Wear that kinda ugly op-shop top or those shoes that hurt to walk in. You make it look good! Dunedin hot spot to visit: First Church Pisces Sometimes it feels like everyone hates you, and maybe they do. You’re still hot though, Read more...
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