Archive

Hide Ya Bong: 10 Ways to Conceal a Bong in Plain Sight

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Imagine this: halfway through punching a cone after an incredibly difficult week of BCom-broing and midweek pissups, you hear the front door creak. All your flatmates are home, and no one just fucking drops in. Like a deer in Bic-light, you scramble in fear to find a hiding spot for your still-warm Read more...

Drug Trip Simulator

Posted 1:06pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nicky Patterson

1. Look outside. It’s a beautiful day; the sun's shining, the birds are chirping, and you've got the itch for something special to make today one to remember. Who are you calling? A: The Regular (go to 3) B: The shady guy who your mate’s flatmate’s sister knows (go to Read more...

Steamed the New Stoned?

Posted 12:57pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Dunedin has a pretty notorious drug culture. One drop of our wastewater could show the entirety of Gloriavale a damn good time. And yet, one would be pressed to find a hardcore, “substances are a personality trait” type druggie in even your most bruising Castle St flat these days – Read more...

Firecracker Airfryer Edibles

Posted 12:54pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...

Leith Them Alone: The Families of Leith Street

Posted 10:01pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Leith Street – a key part of the North Dunedin epicentre of Otago’s student life – has long been the home of scarfie flats and student parties. But despite its reputation, Leith is more than just students living out their second-year dreams in New Zealand’s most notorious Read more...

Dancing in the Rain: Baseline Reviewed

Posted 9:54pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Iris Hehir

It’s important to Critic Te Ārohi that our reviews are authentic. To review hall food, we needed to assume the identities of freshers. And to review Baseline, we also had to assume the appropriate state of a festival-goer: dressed a lil’ slutty and with enough vodka Red Bulls in our Read more...

The Lecture Swap

Posted 8:52pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Adam Stitely, Gryffin Powell, Christopher Elder & Monty O’Rielly

Critic Te Ārohi sent two pairs of what we considered to be polar-opposite majors to go to each others’ lectures: History major Adam and Biochemistry & Genetics major Gryffin; Marketing major Christopher and Gender Studies major Monty. It’s like swinging, but with a bit more Read more...

Trans Sex For Dummies

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...

Animated Affairs

Posted 3:51pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

Let’s talk about the legendary sexual awakening. There are the classics you always hear of: Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’ music video or Joe Jonas emerging, glistening, from the water in Camp Rock. A good number of people recall the moment Miss Honey from Matilda pulls down Read more...

Nonbinary Dirty Talk: 25 Freaky Genderless Naughty Nicknames

Posted 3:14pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

When you’re genderqueer and don’t use gendered terms, it can be hard to include good dirty talk in your sex life. Sex is fun, intimate, and it should be sexy, right? Dirty talk can quickly become awkward Mad Libs from hell when trying to remove gender from your lexicon (“baby Read more...

Your First Time… According to Wattpad

Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...

Between the Sheets: The Realities of Lesbian Sex

Posted 2:54pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Disclaimer: This article is based on the personal experience of one individual. In this article, lesbian sex is referred to in the context of being between two AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners. Trans lesbians, we love you too. Hello there, queer/questioning/closeted Critic reader! You Read more...

How to know if you’re a breatha (and how you can come to accept it)

Posted 5:36pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Part 1: Develop self-awareness Oh, the breatha. The absolute epitome of what people think of when they think “student”. Like the scarfie of yesteryear, the breatha is everywhere: lurking in your lecture halls, downing Monsters in the library, sifting on your mates. You know them Read more...

Man vs Campus: With Sam Soppet

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

The challenge: seven days, 0.22 square kilometers, one Critic office couch (now my bed). Is it doable? Probably. Will it suck? Absolutely. With the Critic office as my home base and staying within main campus bounds (between Clyde, Cumberland, Albany, Dundas), I aimed to answer the question that Read more...

The Student Cult (Chur)

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

I don’t fully understand why I did what I did, but most of it can be chalked up to desperation, autism, and a strange attraction to this godforsaken city. Not all of it, though. There’s something about Dunedin. There’s something about going to the oldest university in our young Read more...

Revolutionary Recipes: How to Season the Rich

Posted 2:43pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

When the revolution comes, the proletariat has been freed, and the wealthy Kiwis that sucked us dry have been rounded up, we will be left with one divisive question – how exactly do we eat the rich? Critic Te Ārohi has a modest proposal on unique ways to prepare our homegrown Read more...

From Hangi to Hupa: Navigating Soul Food in Studentville

Posted 1:25pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

In the cutthroat world of student survival, where the budget is as tight as our jeans after gaining the infamous fresher five, planning for the week ahead can be a real challenge. Particularly so when it’s your turn to put on a hākari and you’re not sure which dish will impress the Read more...

Aquaman’s Tasteless Tide

Posted 4:19pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

In an era where diversity is celebrated, Hollywood has found a new fascination – move over superheroes and intergalactic battles, because Māori culture has become the latest trend in the global entertainment industry. But are we witnessing a genuine celebration of diversity, or is it just Read more...

Fringe Festival is Here and It's Time to Show You Care About Saving Dunedin’s Venues

Posted 4:14pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

The hour has come for everyone to put their money where their mouth is. Look, we all love the idea of saving Dunedin venues – as evidenced by local movements, posters, and fundraisers – it’s just that we don’t seem to love actually getting up from behind our keyboards and Read more...

The Official Dunedin Old Test

Posted 3:36pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Have you ever… Bailed on Pint Night? Hosted a potluck/dinner party? Bought a $14+ bottle of wine? Brought just a 6-pack on a night out?  Refrained from drinking because your tummy hurt? Left a BYO basically sober? Purchased a textbook (and used it)? Declined free Read more...

Which Countdown rat are you?

Posted 4:19pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jodie Evans

Everyone and their mother are talking about the Countdown rats - those “unsanitary” intruders scurrying across the deli salad and whipping up an ODT storm. But have you stopped to consider how the rats feel? Perhaps each rat has its own complex life, just like yours. They, too, drink way Read more...

Flo-Week Theme Review: 2024

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Monday: Back to School (Courtyard)  Flo-Week opened with a strong start at Courtyard, running the tried and true ‘Back to School’ theme. The look book for the night was composed of pleated skirts and unironed white collars, with a fair sprinkling of kit from local high Read more...

‘Almost Pumping’: Dunedin Surf on Film

Posted 3:33pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Surf culture in Ōtepoti has always operated in an uneasy tandem with the student community. When a gaggle of students sputter into view of the beach, most local surfers roll their eyes and call it a day, or else begrudgingly share their waves with often very good (if greedy) student surfers. We Read more...

Homie-Eroticism: All the gay shit breathas do

Posted 4:05pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Dunedin is one of the few places on earth where you’ll hear the f-slur casually used by straight breathas who are mere hours away from drinking out of each other’s nutsacks. I posit that Breathadom creates a unique space for playful, casual male intimacy that remains socially Read more...

Nut Up or Shut Up: Why Halls Should Go Vegetarian

Posted 4:00pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Fox Meyer

The way halls work right now, with opt-in veggies but obligate meats, is completely backwards. I don’t care if you keep eating meat in your day-to-day life. It’s kinda cringe, but ultimately, the emissions from one private jet flight outweigh any of your dietary choices. So I can live Read more...

C'mon, John, Just Donate to the Pūteketeke

Posted 11:04am Thursday 16th November 2023 by Fox Meyer

Is a bird in the hand really worth two on a billboard? John Oliver doesn’t care, because he’s got more money than you.   John Oliver joked on his show that there’s nothing more American than influencing elections, and that may well be true (I, myself, have indulged). Read more...

Scoop McNeilly: 15 years covering student affairs

Posted 12:03pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Harriette Boucher

Through all the riots and revolutions that Dunedin students have staged, Stuff reporter Hamish McNeilly has seen it all. Fortunately for us, he was sober the whole time, allowing him to recall every last detail.    Hamish is the sole Stuff reporter in Dunedin and a former Otago Read more...

Planning Your Course to Make the Best Apology Video

Posted 12:00pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Peyton Black

Are you having trouble with your online image? Finding that your comment section is more shame than fame? If you’ve done something to get yourself cancelled it can be hard to navigate the digital experience. That’s why a tried-and-true method to cleanse yourself of all wrongdoing is the Read more...

The Dummy's Guide to Travelling to Hawai’i

Posted 11:56am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Welcome to the Dummy's Guide to Travelling to Hawai’i, where we'll show you how to turn a dream vacation into a nightmare of confusion, frustration, and inefficiency. Who needs simplicity and relaxation when you can make everything needlessly complex? It's time to discuss the Read more...

Opinion: Fuck It, Let’s Privatise the Business School

Posted 11:54am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Well, here we are. It’s the final issue of Critic for 2023, and my final issue forever. I’ve been lucky enough to spend three glorious, tumultuous, unhinged years writing for this publication, and now the time has come for my final rampage. And to that I say: fuck it, let’s Read more...

Opinion: The person you need is Nanny McPhee

Posted 11:49am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Kicking someone out of your flat is a shitty experience, particularly when it’s a byproduct of your own shitty behaviour. Though it’s usually justified, the experience nonetheless leaves scars on the flat. Conversations are left in flux; a uniting, common enemy is lost; rent must be Read more...

Local Candidates Debate: A Summary

Posted 10:48am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Hugh Askerud

With all major parties (bar ACT, surprisingly enough) wanting a slice of the student voting pie, OUSA in conjunction with POLSA hosted a high-octane debate in the union hall at 1pm last Wednesday. The result was largely underwhelming, as candidates showed the utmost respect for one another in Read more...

TOP Leader Raf Manji: On Despondency, Political Potential, and Progressivism

Posted 10:44am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

The Opportunities Party Leader Raf Maji is sort of like that international student who showed up in your Geology class one afternoon: you aren’t too sure who he is or where he came from, but he seems pretty cool and is giving all the other popular kids a run for their money. While TOP has yet Read more...

Planning Your Course to Make the Best Apology Video

Posted 10:43am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Peyton Black

Are you having trouble with your online image? Finding that your comment section is more shame than fame? If you’ve done something to get yourself cancelled it can be hard to navigate the digital experience. That’s why a tried-and-true method to cleanse yourself of all wrongdoing is the Read more...

An Interview with Your New Student President, Keegan Wells

Posted 10:39am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Keegan Wells successfully won the presidency in a close race against Mr. No Confidence. We were able to sit down with the local figure while she wasn’t busy chasing snowfalls or ranting about atmospheric rivers and over-tourism. As you’ll see, the conversation immediately became quite Read more...

Antisocial Media

Posted 10:32am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

by Pippa Richards, Dom Piceno, Maddi Butler, and Ruby Chadd   This article was written by students from MANT252, a paper designed to develop future leaders. As a part of this, they’re tasked with leading a social action project with relevant stakeholders, and this group requested Read more...

Go Big or (Don’t) Go Home

Posted 10:03pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Harriette Boucher

It’s late. You’re several standards deep and, in your quest to feel something even remotely close to human affection, you’ve gone home with a stranger you just met. Deeds are done, towels are wiped, snoozes are hastily had. And then comes the cold light of day, when you must Read more...

Otago Degrees and Their Favourite Sex Positions:

Posted 10:02pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

No one asked, but here it is. A breakdown of Otago degrees and their favourite sex positions. Use it well.    Using a mix of questionable quantitative and qualitative research methods, Critic Te Ārohi has investigated the correlations between what degrees people take and their Read more...

What sex toy are you?

Posted 9:51pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

How often do you nap?   I’m not a toddler. I micro-nap by blinking rapidly, when required Can it even be called napping when I didn’t get up in the morning? Only when my partner does  Very rarely, and usually in jeans, but when I do I lose all sense of time and Read more...

RED-S

Posted 12:46pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Imagine you’re an athlete, spending your days in the shell of a constant migraine, feeling immediately tired upon waking with a full day of training and classes ahead of you. This was Tom’s reality for almost a year as he grappled with RED-S, also known as Relative Energy Deficiency in Read more...

Winning Streak

Posted 12:28pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Saturday, August 26th. A cool breeze whistled through Forsyth Barr Stadium, carrying the jeers of Otago and Southland fans. It was a day few could predict, but all would remember; it was the day of the streaker. The streaker who lived.   Long before this fateful day, nine young men set Read more...

Winston Peters: In His Reputation Era

Posted 12:24pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

Winston Peters is the stuff of legend in the New Zealand Government. He’s the only diplomat that’s ever been invited to North Korea. He’s also the longest-serving MP, entering Parliament in 1979 - before the rise of neoliberalism or the inception of the internet - during a time of Read more...

The Breatha’s Guide to Understanding the Rugby World Cup

Posted 12:22pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Oscar Paul

What is the Rugby World Cup?    The Rugby World Cup (RWC) is a quadrennial meeting between the best countries in the world, i.e., the ones that play rugby. The coolest donnies, the blokes you’d happily invite over for your red card. 20 countries in total, each with mixed Read more...

Cluckergirl

Posted 12:17pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

“This is for everyone who’s ever been told they couldn’t make it, everyone who’s been told they’re ‘too old’, ‘too bold’, ‘too much at risk of transmitting avian flu’... They tried to keep me down, but you can’t stop this Read more...

Ngāti Pākehā? More like Naughty Pākehā!

Posted 12:19pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

The descendants of Porourangi are known as Ngāti Porou, and Ngāti Tūwharetoa in the central North Island are, of course, descended from Tūwharetoa. So if ‘Ngāti’ means ‘descended from’, then who the hell is Pākehā?    Many Read more...

Your Wellness Instagram Is Just Yassified Colonialism, Actually.

Posted 11:51am Monday 11th September 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

I think we can all probably agree that the golden age of social media is officially over. We’re no longer posting wholesome and heartfelt statuses on Facebook or being unapologetically cringe on Instagram while simultaneously running a successful One Direction Twitter fan account. Instead, Read more...

Literary Legends: A Peek Inside 2023’s New Zealand Young Writers Festival

Posted 9:02pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

From the 21st to the 24th of September, Ōtepoti is lucky enough to be hosting the New Zealand Young Writers Festival. Produced by Dunedin Fringe Festival, the event is a free, four-day celebration of our creative community across all literary forms: poetry, fiction, zines, journalism, podcasts, Read more...

Pussy, Power and the Patriarchy

Posted 8:45pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Being a boss bitch comes with an asterisk. Even that term, boss bitch, still carries the word “bitch” in it, as if women can’t be in charge without being insufferable. But despite all the resistance, many have forced their way to the top. Like a modern Elle Woods, pushing on in Read more...

Self-guided art tour/pub crawl

Posted 3:51pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Want to go see some art but also want to make it a red card? Here are some pre-planned stops on an art gallery pub crawl. Just remember: no touching the galleries, even after ten pints. And no, you couldn’t have made that yourself.    Start at Ironic Bar and Cafe before heading Read more...

Rouge:

Posted 2:17pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Zak Rudin

Disclaimer: OUSA does not endorse dumpster diving as it can have serious legal ramifications.     Joey, a local fashion dumpster diver, told Critic Te Ārohi dumpster fashion “is fast fashion”. As in, you’ve gotta be fast: “I don’t want to get Read more...

The American College Jumper. Why?

Posted 1:51pm Monday 7th August 2023 by myia Pearce

I doubt many Americans are walking around their college campuses with Otago University jumpers.    You don’t need to visit Michigan to rock U of M gear. You don’t need to know how to pronounce “Worcester'' to look like an alumni, and the only reason I can Read more...

OPINION: Everyone dresses queer now and it’s fucking with my gaydar

Posted 1:43pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Amelia Blockley

Gaydar is a magical thing. It gives us queer folk the ability to pick up on little hints and clues that can guide our flirtatious approach, and since the 1940s and 1950s fashion has been one of the best ways to sense someone’s queerness. Docs, work wear, chunky rings, and suits were some of Read more...

The Search for Conehenge

Posted 1:45pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Ahhh, the simple art of cone theft. Over the years many have loaded a number of descriptions onto this noble craft: thrilling, devious, psychotic even, but pointless? Many have dared to make this bold assertion, calling cone theft ludicrous for the fact that the art has no purpose. And…to Read more...

Degrees and How They Smell: A walkthrough of the academic perfume aisle

Posted 1:43pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Rose mills

Computer science: The worst. Just the worst. Have you been to the comp sci labs in the science building? They absolutely reek. They never shower because they don't want to get their electronics wet. Yuck.   Natural sciences: Distinct aroma of mud, weed, and septum piercing. Strangely Read more...

Chlöe Swarbrick: On Harm Reduction, Landlords, and (still) being the Youngest in Parliament

Posted 4:34pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Whether you love her or hate her, over the past few years, it’s been hard to ignore Chlöe Swarbrick. The 29-year-old Green Party Member and Auckland Central MP was elected to office at 23, making her the youngest politician to enter parliament since Marilyn Waring in 1975. In 2023 Read more...

Fresh Stress Relief

Posted 4:27pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s that time of year again - it’s ten degrees colder than when you first began to complain about the winter chill, your fingers continue to grow stiff on your laptop keyboard, it’s difficult to get out of bed in the morning, and the motivation you thought would return after the Read more...

OPINION: Gaslighting is totally normal, actually. (a response)

Posted 4:21pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Gaslighting is totally normal, and I can’t believe you didn’t know that. Assuming you’re a loyal Critic reader, I’m sure you know all about gaslighting by now. We can’t seem to publish an issue without mentioning the word, and we even ran a feature earlier this year Read more...

How to Take Your Landlord to Court

Posted 9:58pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Zak Rudin

Dunedin’s rental rates are rising faster than any other university town in the country, but the quality of the homes is not exactly a sterling standard. Since people come and go every year, it can be easy for a property owner to neglect a home for years on end, always promising to do work for Read more...

Prime Minister Chris Hipkins: On the Tertiary Sector, Student Life, and Protesting

Posted 9:44pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Prime Minister Chris Hipkins represents one thing: hope. At least, hope for rangas and hope for people from The Hutt that, despite the circumstances they were born into, they too can achieve their dreams. While he now has the biggest job in the country, it wasn’t long ago that Chippy was just Read more...

Opinion: Nepotism: It’s okay if it’s tradition!

Posted 5:58pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Exam season may be daunting but, remember, if old mate Charlie can succeed the throne at the overripe age of 74 and still not know his allocated lines, then you can walk off that B+ with your head held high. Despite the archaic, dormant vibe that the British monarchy insists on maintaining in the Read more...

South Otago Pubs Ranked by How Scared I Am to be In Them

Posted 5:52pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Last month I cut my hair short. No longer was I the long-haired lad who sat reading Proust in the summer sun. Instead, I endeavoured to become the beer-guzzling, duck-shooting, rugby-loving, Southern man which my rugged short hair prescribed me to be. Yet how is it possible to make such a rapid Read more...

Opinion: Dear Straight Men: Gay Girls Leaving Gay Events Don’t Want to Fuck You

Posted 6:00pm Thursday 25th May 2023 by Becca Thorby

With Dunedin Pride month firmly at our backs, a memory that stands out to me was Woof! and Dunedin Pride’s club night ‘Wetness’ on March 19. The dress code was the very elaborate “moist / thirst-trap / tropical summer / poolside swimwear / evening-wear skin / cabana cocktail Read more...

Drum and Bass: How it took root in Dunedin

Posted 4:05pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

In the 1800s, they brought gorse from the UK. Now it’s everywhere. In the 2000s, another import took root in Dunedin’s soil: Drum and Bass. Whether you love to hate it or hate to love it, you can’t deny the fact that drum and bass is at the heart of Dunedin music culture. Read more...

Banned Shirts: Why Not Knowing the Band is an Act of Feminism

Posted 3:49pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Nirvana. The Beatles. Pink Floyd. Bands that mean absolutely nothing to the girlies. Or do they? In this essay, I will outline why basic bitches wearing band shirts is actually a feminist act of sticking it to the man. Self-proclaimed music bros, Anthony Fantano subscribers, and guys who tune Read more...

QUIZ: Which Dunedin Venue Are You?

Posted 3:26pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

Your latest Tinder match hits you with the dreaded question: “What kind of music are you into?” What half-truth will make you seem more interesting? Jazz, but like, real jazz. Have you seen Whiplash? I’m actually in a surf rock band, that’s probably my go-to Read more...

Opinion: Busking Needs a Glow-Up

Posted 3:06pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Hugh Askerud

As a timid fourteen-year-old, I wanted to go busking in town with my ukulele. Ignoring the fact that a ukulele is a terrible busking instrument, I quickly found myself in a swamp of bureaucratic bereavement which only subsided after I gave up on my musical dreams forever. Granted, I was a terrible Read more...

How to Know if You’ve Got The Ick

Posted 11:54am Tuesday 16th May 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

Part 1 of 2: Understanding the Ick       Understand that getting the ick is not your fault. Society often stigmatises the ick and those who suffer from it. This means it can be easy to believe that you are a bad person. And maybe you are. You might be Read more...

Correlation or Causation?

Posted 3:19pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

According to Gen Z, “pipelines” are no longer what Big Oil puts in the ground. Rather, a pipeline is an ominous way of understanding the correlation or causation between particular people and their tendencies. There are a few pipelines which are specific to Otago and greater student Read more...

Secret Community Unearthed!...Sorta

Posted 2:03pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Athletics aren’t necessarily synonymous with student life. Sport New Zealand attests to this, claiming weekly participation in sporting activity drops from 98% to 75% at the age of 18. Despite these staggering statistics, the question remains: how do breathas remain so skinny in spite of such Read more...

How to Lose a Guy in Five Dates

Posted 3:26pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Nina Brown

As someone who’s been called a serial monogamist, I recently had the novel (dis)pleasure of re-entering the Dunedin dating scene. Now, “dating scene” is a somewhat generous term for what awaits singles on the damp streets of Dunners, which I was reminded of upon redownloading Read more...

Opinion: The System Isn’t Broken

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

A clean, green, egalitarian nation. One that cares deeply for its people and wildlife, all of whom exist within a beautiful, isolated bubble of freedom, safety, and prosperity. At least, that’s what New Zealand likes to go around bragging about. But when you take a deeper, harder look at this Read more...

Burnt Out

Posted 2:38pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

“Work hard, play hard” works, until it doesn’t. Most of us drink anywhere between 1-4 nights a week, work one or two jobs, and belong to one or two clubs or volunteer groups - all on top of uni. It’s a lifestyle, and we make it work. But students are burning the candle at Read more...

All the gear, no idea

Posted 11:41am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Max Phillips

Otago is the MDMA capital of New Zealand.  Wastewater testing has revealed that Otago consumes nearly twice as much MDMA (1.8x) per capita than anywhere else in the country. In Quarter 2 of 2022, the Southern District consumed 538 mg per day per 1,000 people, compared to a national average Read more...

How to Smuggle Meth into New Zealand: Just Add Vinegar

Posted 11:38am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Rauri Warren

Imagine if New Zealand banned a specific LEGO set from crossing the border. Let’s say it’s the Titanic model, set #10294. That set comes with precisely 9,090 pieces, and only a specific combination of those pieces results in set #10294. Now let’s say that you built set #10294 Read more...

Pick your Poison: Drug Trends in Dunedin

Posted 11:32am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Anna Robertshawe

The relationship between drugs and Dunedin party culture is probably stronger than your parent’s marriage. But much like fashion and music, taste in drugs has changed over the past few decades. Critic Te Ārohi decided to take a deep dive into Dunedin drug trends over time and ask why some Read more...

Moshers of the world, unite!

Posted 3:04pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Trapped in every student’s soul is an immutable desire to mosh. Whether that be in a crowd of hundreds or alone in a crusty bedroom, mosh culture is fundamental to the plight of every student. As the age old saying goes: “Up there’s for thinking, down there’s for Read more...

Different Breeds of Landlord

Posted 3:02pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Zak Rudin

Nestled throughout the sprawling ecosystem of Dunedin lies perhaps the most pervasive pest of all: the landlord. They come in all different shapes and sizes, marking territory in their own unique and equally infuriating ways. With each species of landlord comes a different experience. Critic Te Read more...

Lavender Town: A Lesbian’s Guide to a Dunedin Day Out

Posted 3:59pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Rock climbing What is it about this sport that attracts queer women? It’s true that climbing gyms are often swarming with shirtless, sweaty “boulder bros”, and outdoor walls can crawl with trad climbers sporting greying beards and bulging veins, but climbing is overall a diverse Read more...

Dammed If You Do: Safe Vulva Sex

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Note: This guide aims to inform on safe sex practices with and between vulvas. Not all women have vulvas, and not everyone with a vulva is a woman. Resources around STI prevention tend to focus exclusively on sex involving penises, even though STIs can also pass vulva-to-vulva Read more...

Homie-Eroticism: All the gay shit breathas do

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Dunedin is one of the few places on earth where you’ll hear the f-slur casually used by straight breathas who are mere hours away from drinking out of each other’s nutsacks. I posit that Breathadom creates a unique space for playful, casual male intimacy that remains socially Read more...

Ko Te Katoa o Te Ingoa i Kōrerotia

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Mātauranga taiao, environmental knowledge, has never been more relevant. Built over generations, it’s represented in the names of places all around us, and it offers insight into how these places might behave in a changing climate. That is, if you know what they Read more...

Birds of a Feather

Posted 2:34pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Note: We’d like to thank the DCC staff who take care of Sid and his avian mates for letting us in and sharing Sid’s story. They’re keen to tell a bigger story about the ethics of aviaries, which are a relic of a more Victorian time. They can’t just get rid of the birds Read more...

My Life with the Bus Hub Barnacle

Posted 1:50pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Hugh Askerud

A bus hub barnacle is usually about 1.5 metres tall, and can be identified by their disposable vapes and matching clothing. Pack behaviour is common in this species. While they are often regarded as dangerous, like so many other mid-sized mammals, their bark is worse than their Read more...

Nut Up or Shut Up: Why Halls Should Go Vegetarian

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

The way halls work right now, with opt-in veggies but obligate meats, is completely backwards.   I don’t care if you keep eating meat in your day-to-day life. It’s kinda cringe, but ultimately, the emissions from one private jet flight outweigh any of your dietary choices. So Read more...

Cutting Your Fringe: The Cost of Defunding the Dunedin Fringe Festival

Posted 1:17pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Dunedin Fringe Festival 2023 was thrown into doubt in September last year when Creative NZ (CNZ) declined their funding application. This year’s Fringe is set to go ahead, after a crowdfunding campaign and a great show of support from the community. Critic looks at what costs it took to send Read more...

It’s All Greek to Me!

Posted 1:10pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Before you get upset about the title, understand that a toga party in New Zealand in 2023 is about as Roman as it is Martian, so making a Greek pun is excusable.   With that out of the way: Toga party. What’s the deal? This annual event has become an intrinsic part of student Read more...

Avatar 2 Sucked, Actually

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Skyla o Ngāti Hine

Avatar: The Way of Water recently ranked as the sixth-highest grossing film in all of cinematic history. Like thousands of other Kiwis around New Zealand, you may have found yourself in your local Hoyts this summer enjoying a box of popcorn and the long-awaited sequel. It’s also likely that Read more...

Game of Throwns

Posted 1:32pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Hugh Askerud

There is something distinct in the Otago student spirit which inevitably leads to a bottle, egg, or other assorted item being thrown in the streets of studentville. Maybe it's the Leith’s unyielding supply of inedible trout which spawned the madness, or perhaps the bountiful amount of food Read more...

Google Form Flat Quizzes: How Much Heat Can You Handle?

Posted 1:28pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Iris Hehir

When tensions are highest in a flat, everyone agrees to the bad idea of doing an anonymous Google Form quiz. It’s a fact of life. However, like with all good things in life, you can choose the spiciness level of these questions. From complimentary props to sulk-inducing burns, here’s Read more...

Opinion: Critic Te Ārohi Will Be Covering The Election This Year

Posted 7:53pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan

For those of you too young to remember, or those who need a memory jog, Critic Te Ārohi made the decision to not cover the 2020 general election on the basis that party politicians had “nothing more to offer students than a shrivelled pea.” The decision received an extensive amount Read more...

Flo and O Party Themes, Reviewed

Posted 6:42pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Critic

    Monday 13th: Courtyard: Back to School Appropriate for day 1 of parties. Makes sense. Opportunity to wear some kinky outfits.   Eyewitness testimony: Seemed to have the most turnout as a uniform is pretty easy to source. People got sloshed immediately and many Read more...

Local Produce: Becca Caffyn

Posted 7:48pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

“I’m good at feeling and feeling deep,” Becca Caffyn laments on her new song ‘Replacement Blonde.’ The sorrowful ballad is also the title track of her debut EP. We caught up with Becca to talk about her latest music, change and processing these feelings through Read more...

Opinion on VIP Entry: Special Admission or Special Treatment?

Posted 7:44pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

For too long, Māori have been surrounded by the stigma of relying on handouts and “free money” from the government. There are social expectations of what Māori are meant to be, and if you don’t fit a particular narrative, then you aren’t Māori enough. A plastic Read more...

Dictionary of Rare Duds Slang

Posted 7:39pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic

Acoustic adjective: To wank without the use of sex toys, objects, or lubricant. Ex: “I forgot to charge my Satisfyer so I had to go acoustic last night.” Synonyms: Acapella, cavemanning.  Analogue: adjective. Hand-rolled cigarettes, as opposed to pre-rolled. Battler: noun. Read more...

A Guide to the Night Sky: Existential Crises Have Never Been So Accessible

Posted 6:47pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Keegan Wells

The night sky is like your lectures: you catch yourself saying “I should go look at that sometime” and rarely actually follow up. However, this article is not here to tell you to watch your lectures. Lectures cost around a box and a half ($35) apiece if you’re a domestic student, Read more...

Te Roopū Māori 2023

Posted 5:03pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic

Tumuaki Clay McQueen Mauri ora e te whānau! ko Clay McQueen tōku ingoa he uri au nō Ngāpuhi, Otaua, Wainui, Mataraua anō hoki. I te taha o tōku pāpā he uri au nō Kawhia me Whaingaroa, he mangainga o Hoturoa. Ka mutu, i tipu ake au i Te pū o te Read more...

Reviewing the Law Revue

Posted 3:55pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Zak Rudin

Disclaimer: this article was written by a law student (cringe). Last Saturday night saw the return of the annual Law Revue, hosted in the first year law school chapel that is Castle 1. The theme: High (Law) School Musical. Critic Te Ārohi took one for the team and put their Saturday night in Read more...

An Indigenous Opinion on the Queen’s Death:

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Skyla o Ngāti Hine

As the world remembers Queen Elizabeth II, it is clear that for many, her 70-year-long reign symbolised great strength and familiarity. However, with the #RoyalFamily TikTok hashtag skyrocketing to 17.7 billion views, and Parliament’s recent declaration of September 26th as an official day of Read more...

What Houseplant Are You?

Posted 2:46pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Nina Brown

The frost-bitten landscape of Ōtepoti doesn’t exactly provide the ideal living environment for houseplants – or students, for that matter. But there’s nothing quite like a flat filled with withering houseplants at varying stages of mortality, and this quiz will help you Read more...

Liz Stokes of The Beths on ‘Expert In A Dying Field’:

Posted 1:55pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

Aotearoa indie darlings, The Beths, released their third album ‘Expert In A Dying Field’ mid-way through this month. To Critic’s surprise, the album is not actually about our humanities/marine science students and staff looking on in despair as their department is slowly snuffed Read more...